24 – Live Another Day [Season 1(/9?) Premiere]: Worst Week Ever.

And cue that timer…

Just in the nick of time, too, because there’s no time like the present for the timely return of the time-honored tradition of TV’s favorite “race-against-time,” timing the exploits of a man out of time…

Sorry… I made a bet with our editors to see how many times I could fit the word “time” into this review of the season 9 premiere of 24. How many times was that? 11? Geez. I can do better than that. No. Wait. Time out. Let me stop wasting time so we can talk about a show that’s all about time —

Jack Bauer (Metal Gear‘s new Solid Snake, Kiefer Sutherland) is back, y’all. And, as per usual, not a moment too soon. As any fan of the show knows, the dude’s M.O. is the time on the clock and always, almost, being out of it.

So what does Jack have time for in this new season?

Well, in case you haven’t kept track, let me recap his last few days: foiled an assassination, stopped a nuclear threat, infiltrated a cartel, rescued the Secretary of Defense from terrorists, faked his death, uncovered a conspiracy, went to Chinese prison, secured several nuclear devices, helped stage a coup, exposed corruption in the White House, uncovered a murder plot, and then took matters into his own hands and became a fugitive from justice.

NOW — nee, this time — after four years, off the grid and on the America’s Most Wanted List, Jack resurfaces in London and gets right into a bit of hot water with the CIA. But remember, this is Jack Bauer we’re talking about here; so obviously when I say “hot water” I mean “taken into custody,” and obviously when I say “taken into custody” I mean “he let them do it.”

Splinter Cell is NOT a better game.

Jack’s “capture” happens to coincide with the return of a few familiar faces to the 24verse: former Secretary of Defense, now president, Jack Heller (The Dark Knight Rises‘ William Devane), also ends up in hot water in Olde London Towne. It’s official Oval Office business, finalizing a treaty with the U.K. on drone warfare (spoiler alert: they’re all for it). Along for this political ride are Chief of Staff Mark Budreau (Argo Fuck Yaself’s Tate Donovan) and Jack’s ex flame-slash-President Heller’s daughter-slash-Chief of Staff Budreau’s current wife, Audrey (Revolution‘s Kim Raver)…

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