HUNT FOR WOLVERINE / COSMIC GHOST RIDER / DEATH OF THE INHUMANS [Reviews]: Marvel-ous!

HUNT FOR WOLVERINE / COSMIC GHOST RIDER / DEATH OF THE INHUMANS [Reviews]: Marvel-ous!

Jason “Bad Preacher” Bud

HUNT FOR WOLVERNE: WEAPON LOST #3 – Marvel

Sooo…it drops in a lil sumpin like dis, mutie…

Slit-throat Cypher bleedin’ out down ‘round da maple syrup underground

Hell’s Kitchen Hornskull witda dead-set eyez

Creepin’ up dankazz Saskatchewoodz backside

Ole Red’s posse-huntin’ fo dat missin’/dead Canucklehead

Do ya hunt fo da Wolverine, Wolverine, Wolverine???

Sayyyyyy what???

Do ya stunt fo da Wolverine, Wolverine, what???

Nowwwww what???

Do ya grunt like da Wolverine, Wolverine, now???

GRUNT!!!!!!!!!!

Misty Knight’s breakin’ down dis 21st Century Foxy Brown

Jammin’ concussive rounds into her Stark-raving arm cannon

NuHuman Frank McGee super-sleuthin’ tha clues an’ cues wit da sunset eyeballs

Booming cloud nine wit dat Inhuman Skycharger, my man

Do ya cut like da Wolverine, Wolverine, cut???

Sayyyyyy what???

Do ya strut like da Wolverine, Wolverine, strut???

Nowwwww what???

Do ya grunt like da Wolverine, Wolverine, now???

GRUNT!!!!!!!!!!

Reaverchild Albert ain’t no one’s lil princely jewelry bitch

So’s he gunna try an deathgrip ya with his fierce Piercetipka

Lost Weapon seekers might bulletback tha robofoe

When the night sky flies high moon, now low

Muthrfukkrz name is LOGAN, foo!!!

Logan, Logan, Logan

Muthrfukkrz game is LOGAN, foo!!!

Logan, Logan, Logan

Muthrfukkrz refrain is LOGAN, foo!!!

Logan, Logan, Logan

Metallic mutant madman gunna leave ya torn an’ broken…

Snikt, Snikt, Snikt!!!

3.75/5 Adamantiumadmen

-Jason Bud




COSMIC GHOST RIDER #1 — Marvel Comics

“El Sacerdote” J.L. Caraballo Twitter @captzaff007

I did not like this. Throughout the entirety of my reading Cosmic Ghost Rider #1, I kept getting the feeling of how comics were in the early-to-mid-1990s: SO KEEEEEEWWWWWL, MAN! THEY’S SO EXTREEEEEEME! THE DARKER THE BETTER! I WANT MY COMICS SO DARK THE ART IS JUST A BLACK PIECE OF PAPPPEEERRRRRRR!!! That shit isn’t for me, though. If you like it, hey, all power to you, and I sincerely hope you enjoy this. But twice while reading this issue I turned back to the cover page to make sure that yes, I am indeed reading the right comic for review, the characters therein are in fact the ones I think they are, and no, I’m not just drunkenly hallucinating a mishmash of whatever comics I currently own.

Even with the 2-page long breather catching the reader up to how, and why, Frank Castle is currently in Valhalla, after being Thanos’ black right hand, after being the herald of Galactus, after being killed, after….man, I got tired just writing that…I was out for a loop. Look, last I checked in the pages of the monthly Punisher comics, Frank had stolen the War Machine armor and was fighting most of the Marvel heroes… that makes considerably more sense than anything I’d read in these pages. So…the Punisher is now the Ghost Rider, and he makes it his first mission to go back in time and kill Thanos. But he doesn’t? And instead kidnaps baby Thanos and rides with him around in his little space motorcycle? (Somewhere, DC Comics is salivating at the Lobo intellectual property theft…probably the only time “Lobo” and “intellectual” can be used in the same sentence).

One of these things is not like the other, no matter how damn hard they insist they are.

Donny Cates does decent work writing this title, throwing in a bunch of exposition while making Frank sound at least a bit like the Frank I know (primarily the Garth Ennis version of Frank).  “But J.L., you magnificent son-of-a-bitch! The Punisher is SO COOL interacting with other Marvel heroes! It can’t all be Punisher MAX!” Yeah, I get it, but compare his crossover here with his interactions in Welcome Back, Frank. Or even in the last Secret Wars event, where the last act Frank undertakes, as the universe is exploding, is gunning down as many super-villains as he possibly can. The art by Dylan Burnett is okay…it kept reminding me of the first series of Spider-Gwen, and it’s great that Frank is still aging in real-time; but this just kept feeling so out-of-character from what I’m used to from the Punisher. The design would be great if it were not Frank Castle. I was constantly reminded of when Speedball was turned into Penance — and not in a good way.

“Well, J.L., man, it seems like you went into this title with expectations. So sorry it tried something new!” Yeah…I was expecting a Ghost Rider in my Ghost Rider comic, not Punisher as Ghost Rider in Valhalla with Thanos. Jeez, just writing all that again made me grimace and leaves a weird taste. I can suspend my disbelief as well as the next guy, but this is not for me. Instead I’ll just go crack open my Punisher MAX series for the 30th time. 2/5 Weird Space Motorcycles.

-J.L. Caraballo




“The Traveling Nerd” Lance Paul
@lance_paul

DEATH OF THE INHUMANS #1 – Marvel Comics

The issue starts off with a refresher on the origins of the Inhumans before finding out the Kree are calling all the Inhumans back and are willing to use bloody maneuvers to see it happen. They have already started killing thousands of Inhumans and carving “Join or Die” into their bodies by the beginning of the comic, with an Inhuman executioner named Vox leading the bloodletting!

Death of the Inhumans #1 begins by wasting named Inhuman characters within the first 10 pages and doesn’t stop until the end of the comic. You can tell that after the flop of the Inhuman comics, and the bomb that was the the Inhuman television show Marvel has decided, less Inhumans is a positive thing. The higher-ups have decided with the Fox merger that Mutants are back in the wheelhouse and we don’t need the “lesser” Inhuman characters anymore. The layout of the story in Death reflects this very tellingly. I’m totally okay with it. The story was enjoyable so much that it showed Donny Cates (Redneck) wasn’t messing around with the kid gloves. 4/5 X-Men Agree!

-Lance Paul

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