Murdering SprE3: Twas a 3rd day, you know! (Pt. Uno)

Murdering SprE3: Twas a 3rd day, you know! (Pt. Uno)

Under circumstances out of our control, there have been an overall lack of updates. And seeing how the Lord has forgiven you for all of the deaths you have caused via first-person shooters, we certainly hope you forgive us.

(Though we’ve been updating ultra-ghetto gamer interviews on our facebook page, if you just click right here)

We do have responsibilities outside of the church, you know, like tasting crispy ripe Sauvignoon Blanc’s from down as far as Marlborough to the balanced raspberries of Montepulciano D’Abruzzo.. that go well with your local favorite chicken parmwich.

It’s not a bad gig.

And neither was our time at the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Day 3 delivered an assortment of favorites, as the diocese was blessed to witness the tremendous — and maybe one of the biggest shockers of the 3-day event — Naval Warfare gameplay of Assassin’s Creed 3. While the initial live demo resembled your typical AC game with an American Revolutionary skin, the new mode shoots the franchise back up to the top of our list. Adding another element will not only entice new gamers, but surely ends the debate whether all AC games play the same.

Damn:

 

Shame on me for not mentioning this tremendous announcement in the podcast, which, if you haven’t heard by now — E3 Wrapup Podcast — you may be in line for another psychic evaluation.

Speaking of decrepit mental states, what happened to Spec-Ops: The Line? Predicting this military-shooter would be a “sleeper hit” was either the biggest blunder we've ever made in mass, or, yo, maybe this reverend was actually on-point like my man Rondo. Well, Spec's demo booths were nearly empty throughout the expo's 3 days. Maybe that poignant look through the military mind state (see Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line) just isn't enough to overcome icky word of mouth and unsatisfying execution.

In the few minutes I wasted my time, I was unable to control my other squad members’ movement, my weapons lacked some pretty severe customization, and it was just.. boring. So, why didn’t 2K just dose out a campaign demo for us since the haunting realism of war is what they advertised in the first place? Either way this game left us shooting blanks. (If you want some fun, team-controlled war combat, check out Ubisoft’s new Ghost Recon: Future Soldier.)

Why must COD keep kicking our butts?

Thankfully, 2K did a tremendous job with Borderlands 2. For someone who deserves a smack or two for skipping out on the first entry, the sequel’s system-link co-op was extremely easy to dig into. Think Diabo III with the color pallette of Prince of Persia, a fast loot and shoot gunner that’s full of customization. In fact, I had no idea which gun I wanted to “take home” with me.

Yes, players who finished the demo were rewarded with a code to keep their favorite gizzat they had unlocked (unfortunately this only rewards PC players… meh).

Regardless, gameplay is where it’s at and it’s all about class. Once I heard the term “phaselock” from one of the nearby Gearbox developers, I swiftly chose the Siren class. Basically you get to air-bubble the shit out of an opposing bot. Thus these morons will get stalled high into the air, giving your pal — be it Brick, Mordecai, or Roth — opportunities to blast them ’til kingdom come.

Not to forget, the longer you proceed throughout the game with your Siren, Mya, your phaselocking will thrust to higher levels. Having the ability to gat your homie to heal them will make even Plaxico Buress jealous.

Apparently, "Chicks Dig the Brick," too.

If all this shooting and killing stuff is a bit too much for the congregation, hath no fear… for Epic Mickey is here!

As we chimed in during our podcast, it was nice to play what many hardcore basement dwellers would call “mindless platformers,” and Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two proved an exception. Sure, you do loads of silly things like create stairs in the sky by painting (uhh…), yet having the “hop in / hop out” option of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit to pair up with Disney’s resident rodent is an impressive option. So if you’re floundering through the pearly gats of a Chip ‘n Dale Museum of Massacre (no, not that Chip ‘n Dale, Goofy!), your pal has the option of joining with the second controller. I can also attest to the graphics looking pretty darn wonderful in wondrous HD.

Hmm, maybe Epic Mickey 2 doesn’t receive any rewards — Best Platform at E3, though, maybe? — but it surely won’t give us an energy drink-induced heart attack, either.
Our final E3 coverage comes tomorrow with Part Deux, and we’ll tackle Prometheus, the current state of the WWE, and comic books galore as the week pushes forward. I promise all to purgatory!

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