Now, before I get on with this review, the Reverend would like to quickly touch upon Saints Row‘s previous three games. Those of you who know me, know that I can’t get enough of the open world franchise’s manic mayhem. But, to be completely honest with you (as if our holy church of geekdom would go about it any other way), the Rev didn’t get into SR until the summer of 2011, when trailers for SR: The Third flooded all video game sites and every bit of social media. I originally steered clear of the apparent Grand Theft Auto knock-offs — with their then sole focus on urban gang wars — and that proved a mistake.

A mistake I intended no longer to make.

Don’t get me wrong; I still and will always enjoy playing SR 1 and 2. However, when the third Row was released, I couldn’t help but nerdgasm to the fact that this shit was about to get full-retard.

And by full-retard, I’m talking what the Volition development team accomplished within their open sandbox:

-Call in airstrikes on rival gangs.

-Base-jump in the nude.

-Smack people with giant purple dildos.

Thus, it will forever remain one of my favorite games of all time.

So, when Volition said that Saints Row IV was going to have to take even further over-the-top than its predecessor, I was thinking to myself just how in the bloody hell would this become possible (English accent and all, I swear.) Sure enough, they went and proved me wrong.

Not one of my character creations, I can assure you.

Narrated by Jane Austen (yes, Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen), the story starts off where you, as the Boss (voiced by the one and only Troy Baker), lead the Saints to stop a terrorist group in the Middle East from launching a nuke on Washington D.C. (at this point, you kinda just have to go with it). As the nuke gets launched, you quickly jump on like Major Kong; and as you disable it, the game goes all Michael Bay with Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” busting through the background. And, you’re probably singing this in your head right now, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?

Yes, you. Over there…

Stop lying.

Fast forward about five years and you are now the Mother#$%^&*@ President of the United States, along with the rest of the Saints as your cabinet (including the option of an online pal, in case you want to co-op). Suddenly, out of nowhere (well, somewhere, just not sure where), aliens known as the Zin invade the White House — now known as the “White Crib,” complete with stripper poles — abducting you and your entire team. No anal probing, surprisingly. You fortunately-unfortunate peeps are then placed in a virtual reality Steelport. Thus, it’s up to you, your hacker colleague Kinzie, and Vice President Keith David (masterfully playing himself) to free your team, create absolute chaos with your new superpowers, and show Emperor Zinyak that he just fucked with the wrong “puckish rogue.”

Since most of the SR4 takes place in a virtual world like The Matrix, you get to break all the laws of reality. Instead of “with great power, comes great responsibility,” it’s more like “with great power, I can do whatever the ‘F’ I want because I’m insanely awesome (tossin’ up them middle fingers like 2Pac)!”

Steelport is the new Compton. Or Pittsburgh. Yeah, Pittsburgh.

Throughout the game — which has no problem alien comboing SR3 with Crackdown — you’ll accumulate various superpowers such as super jump, super speed, telekinesis, and fire balls, which are upgradeable as you progress to become the ultimate badass. There are no bounds in the virtual Steelport. Find yourself outgunned by army of aliens? Not much of an issue when you can just take ‘em out with your super stomp, all the while listening to Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do It.” Or better yet, start causing city mayhem with an alien tank or the mech suit, while listening to EMF’s “Unbelievable.” Oh, it’s like a sci-fi’d out VH1 “I Love the 90s!” Of course, there are a shitload of new weapons to choose from such as the Black Hole Gun (which.. you guessed it!) and the Inflato Ray (which inflates your enemies to the point where their bodies explode). Fun times! However, I found myself using the Dubstep Gun more often than any. It’s a gun that blasts flashing neon lights and dubstep music at your enemies.

See kids, Volition proved that listening to too much of that horrendous music will kill you.

Being ridiculously superpowered and using insane alien weapons are not all what makes SR4 so enjoyable. The game’s many parodies are just as great, including sci-fi fanboy homages to their pistol upgrades (Blade Runner, “Firefly”). In addition to all of the Hollywood nods and soundtrack bliss, there’s plenty of odes to great games too, such as inFamous and Prototype (the super powered gameplay element), and the Monsignor’s all-time fav, Mass Effect (by the way you interact with your team on the spaceship, not to mention romance them).

Boss: “Hey Kinzie, wanna fuck?” Kinzie punches you in the face, and then jumps on you.

Kinzie: “Let’s do this!”

(Must be all that pent-up frustration Kinzie and the Boss have from arguing like a married couple.. the entire damn game.)

Some of the tougher enemies include Lookie Lou.

But, nothing bats the homage to a film I actually had the privelage of screening and Q&A-covering earlier this year (which you can read right here), John Carpenter’s They Live. Oh, the irony! The game actually turnbuckle tosses in legendary WWF wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (and his actual voice) to re-enact his infamous fight scene with Keith David. WTF!?!? I mean.. David guest stars, and aliens are the bad guys. Why the hell not?

Oh, and, if you didn’t bother doing too much crazy character editing, or browsing online for hours at some of the many insane creations (a major plus for this 4th installment) Roddy Piper can then be used as a fellow Homeboy.

Hell, that’s not even the half of the humor that Saints Row IV has to offer. There’s a part where players will earn their Transformers moment by listening to “The Touch” from Stan Bush, all the while suiting up as the Iron Saint. Better yet, you start singing along to Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract,” and try to get Kinzie to sing along with you, but she just tells you to…do something terrible to yourself. There’s a sense of nostalgia from this soundtrack that is comparable to none other.

Don’t worry, baby; it was just a phase. He barely mentioned me in this review, anyway…

Sure, while the fanboy in me has taken over much of this review (don’t worry; it’s not even close to the highest rated on the net), I’m not going to lie about the graphics. They’re merely passable. But, maybe that’s why this fun-ass game was tucked away in the darkest cornest at E3, or perhaps I’m only noticing these defencies now because of the looming next-gen.

But, dudes and dudettes of the congregation, you’re not picking up a Saints Row game for the graphics, now, are ya? Of course not. None of the prettier games on the market could ever match up with the franchise’s out-of-this-world/out-of-your-mind zaniness. So, one bible falls off the alter. No biggie. Either way, Saints Row IV exceeds some very lofty expectations following the sheer insanity of Saints Row: The Third. Hell, due to this fourth entry, I’ve been intensely sleep-deprived, living off little more than energy drinks (if only they sold Saints Flow in stores) with a mind so warped, I keep having dreams that I’m buck-naked, blasting aliens asshats while shitty EDM was playing in the background.

How’s that for an impression? Through four mighty games, Volition has chucked over street gangs, zombies, and aliens… Whatever’s next, you can bet the Rev will be amped and ready to go #fullretard once again.

And to think I only mentioned Troy Baker once. Okay. Now twice.

Dammit, Troy.

Okay, now thr…

4.5 (out of 5) Bibles. Half-ass graphics aside, this is one of the Year’s Top 3 Games!

Deep Silver’s Saints Row IV is currently in stores, wherever good PC, PlayStation3, and Xbox 360 games are sold.

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John Carpenter, you are the f&%@ing man!

Last Friday, I had the honor and pleasure of attending the LA Times Hero Complex Film Festival, where I, not only participated in a tasty double-screening of They Live and (the original) Halloween; but, got to check out a Q&A with one of the funniest men in showbusiness, director John Carpenter.

After seeing him in person at Hollywood’s Chinese 6, there’s no doubt the man is a certifiable sci-fi filmmaking Rock Star.

It has been years since I have seen Carpenter‘s sci-fi classic starring — yes — WWE/F Hall of Famer, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. It may have even been after a night of Monday night wrestling, very much after, on the USA network. Of course, watching They Live as a punk adolescent is an entirely different experience than watching it now as a.. well.. punk adult. Either era, a good part of me couldn’t stop thinking how Mr. Carpenter really stuck it to “the man.”

And, by “the man,” I mean the 1980s. You know, generally-speaking.

So, I woke up.. only to find myself at the wrong damn event.

Here’s what good ol’ Carps had to say about the flick and its era:

“I graduated high school in the 1960s, we the Vietnam War… We had the drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll… Great time to be alive, and by the end of the 70s, there was a backlash against everything in the 60s, and that’s what the 80s were. Ronald Regan became president — Reaganomics came in — and he rekindled the Cold War, and started attacking union… So, a lot of the ideals that I grew up with were under assault; and something called a ‘yuppie’ came into existence and they just wanted money… By the late 80s, I had none and I decided I had to make a statement [with They Live], a stupid analogy [perhaps]… The 80s had never died; it’s still with us…”

Carpenter added to the analogies, “aliens should be evil. They’re here to kick our asses!”

Much like the flick our own Rev. Moody caught the next day at the same festival, this director had a similar outlook to The Mist‘s Frank Darabont: “A dark ending is fun — audiences hate them!” And, for these daring directors, making audiences mad is all par for course, of course.

You mean Hogan’s NOT on the cast?

Carpenter was asked about the famous fight scene between Piper and Keith David, which still holds up today as one the greatest movie fight scenes of all time. He mentioned that the legendary wrestler and Raw Justice actor (ha ha) rehearsed that scene for a month and a half, using pads, so when it was time to shoot they could make real contact — as if they were really hitting each other. Our host and moderator for the night, the LA Times‘ Gina McIntyre, even asked John if there was ever “any conversation on the lines of ‘maybe you don’t need the fight to go on that long?’”

JC’s response: “No.”

Cue tremendous audience laughter and applause.

As the Q&A went on, Carpenter was asked about his favorite memory with Kurt Russell, the actor who he has worked with the most. “We were in British Columbia shooting The Thing (which Moody also saw last week, goshdarnit), and the actors were out on a Saturday night [getting] drunk. I had a visitor in my room, and Kurt knew about it. So, he decided to organize the actors to bring poor Keith David, who was passed out, up to my door and drop him. They just had the greatest laugh.”

Carpenter rolled on saying, “The next day, we were shooting and (Keith David) was so hungover. I just stared at him. And I was so happy. That was my favorite moment — everyone [having] a good time!”

I was curious about what was Carpenter’s experience working with Donald Pleasence, who played the Pres in Escape from New York and, of course, Dr. Loomis in Halloween. Pleasence told John during Escape’s initial shooting, “I don’t know why I’m here, and I don’t understand this movie.” With that, Donald aimed to get Carpenter to write an essay as to why the director wanted him to play the president.

FedEx? You’re finally here?

“He just wanted to feel special,” barked Carp.

Carpenter mentioned that he never did that for another actor, while going on to reference his most fond memory of Pleasence on set: when Michael Myers falls out the window, and Loomis goes to the railing and looks down only to see no one there, “[Pleasence] tells me, I could play it ‘oh my god’ or ‘I knew it would happen’.

We shot both, but which one do you think we used?”

Then, leave it to a Rock Star to be more curious about the Golden State Warriors/San Antonio Spurs NBA playoff game than the matter at hand: “Can any of you check and see on your phones who won? Oh, what were we talking about?”

Genius.

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