The Weekly Worship: Hell, our Moms!
Whether your mother is a sweet Aunt May scolder or sassy Jessica Jones smoker, one thing’s for sure: Boy, do we love our mom-dooks.
They are undoubtedly the real life superheroes of our lives, putting up with an insurmountable heap of shit day in and day out. True, there are some pretty ill baby mamas out there that could give a shalluck-less, but even those too-young-to-cradle divas get respect for the grind.
Moms will front you their last $200 on a flight just to see you. Moms will front on liking certain foods just so you can enjoy the groceries. Moms will front enjoying every chuch rec basketball game of yours, despite your clutzy airball-layup-chucking ass never seeing the maple.
Moms will even front so far as to “accepting” a Mother’s Day gift a week late because of your irresponsible, selfish procrastination.
Oh — that’s just my mom.
Moms are our rock. Our shoulder to lean on when the girl we’re dating turns out to be a gypsy who emptied our Citi savings and is currently wanted in 4 different countries. Moms actually understand why you “choose” to be umployed!
I know I’m a day late. And that only makes sense in my world. But, without our moms it’s hard to envision a reason for doing…well, just about anything.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day. And so is today. Tomorrow. And the next.
Thank you, MOMS!, for being the most powerful superheroes on the planet. Love ya’s.
Now, for the 7.5 million or so GHG lovers out there… Our site is going under a vetty-vetty exciting Joan Riversesque facelift: Podcasts featuring bouncers (!!), Forums featuring troll stepbrothers (!), and the first blog ever to sell T-shirts that DON’T suck.
We highly encourage all of our congregants to add us on twitter @GodHatesGeeks, or the far more active and preach-worthy @TravMoody.
Seriously, add us and we’ll add you back. Then delete you to pretend we have more followers than we are following. That’s how Twitter works, I think.
Now, if you didn’t preorder this game for your history teacher of a mother yesterday, then shame on you!
Now that Bioshock Infinite got pushed pack ’til 2013 (yes! I still need to play the 2nd one…), Grand Thefto Auto V would be lucky to come out in October, and Halo 4 isn’t slated until December, AC3 now appears the most anticipated game of the season. Well, besides the obvious Madden 13 and Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 releases that sell hotter than a carton of Marlboros.
Please let our Monsignors of Mad Gaming know which title makes your heart beat frantically in our “Reply” section just below. See it? Do it.
Speaking of assassins named Creed… with the resurrection of Sabretooth out of the way — at least temporary — Logan’s got a lot more to atone for in this past week’s Wolverine & the X-Men #10. Writer Jason Aaron’s dialogue has has never been more clever, and particularly eye-opening dense, a quality not often witnessed in a book starring American’s favorite cigar-chopping wood devil (“Awful time to stare, bub!” SNIKT!!)
Wolvie’s a lot like an NFL football player: a bloodthirsty madman on the field, a charitable child-loving teddy off of it. And, now, with the comic Hugh Jack pushing the iconic Patty Stewart out as the Mutant School Headmaster, the responsibilities just run deeper.