CES ’14 [Wrap-Up]: Where Vinny Mac had TWO WORDS for Mr. Bay…


…or more apropros, Suck it. (More on that later.)

Another CES has passed, as your faithful Nerd Apostle was able to get his hands on all the great gadgets and witness first hand all the epic moments of the week. First let’s begin with: Hi, my names Lance Paul and I am tech-aholic!

10.) Oculus Rift.

Out of all the new toys being shown at CES, the Oculus Rift was the coolest new nerd-gastic tech I wanted to get my hands on. Oculus is the leading edge in virtual reality 3D headsets, with a new Crystal Cove prototype simply unbelievable in its head-tracking. You can effortlessly lean in and out and look at objects from multiple angles. For example, I was able to lean forward and look around a wall. Just think of where the future is going to take this! Oculus has also been able to nearly fix all the immersion-quashing latency issues or lag time.

The Crystal Cove had me saying “gigidy” the whole time, wide-eyed, thinking of all the possibilities! The headset is bound to change the future of gaming and so much more.

These kids.. these FREAKIN’ kids.. keep telling me what a Turtle Ninja is. They’re damn aliens, I tell you! ALIENS!!!

9.) Tough week for Hollywood Transformers.

Like everything Michael Bay, tactful is not one of his specialties. If not too busy ruining our childhood franchises — TMNT or Transformers — the Pain & Gain director is making a fool of himself on stage for Samsung. Bay was at the opening night of CES promoting the new Samsung 105-inch curved 4K TV, when his teleprompter skipped a beat. Unfortunately, improvisation isin’t one of his strong suits. Poor Mr. Bay then decided to quit half way through and walk offstage with his head lower than when Minister Moody found out the newest Shredder is now a white guy!

Cue: Shia Labeouf fist pump.

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