Dial 9-1-1!!! (Or the local nursing home…) Sycho Sid is back!

At least for one night.

With E3 just barely on the backburner and Comic Con swiftly creeping up (July 12 is nearly here, already, hot damn), wrestling has easily been the lowest topic on GHG’s nerd totem pole.

Suplex Sermon podcast delays withstanding, pro wrasslin’ just hasn’t been that good either. Apologies to Hulk Hogan’s “reality wrestling” era over at the TNA brand — the Rev promises to catch up, just don’t know when — WWE’s latest PPV No Way Out was a no-way-out-of-your-49.95 bomb, and the sandwiching RAW‘s didn’t exactly shallack us up against the turnbuckle either.

Enter Sycho Sid, the (former) Master and Ruler of the World!!

“You can’t see me!” Oh…wait…that’s not it..

Don’t get me wrong: like Vader’s surprise-appearance squash victory last week, Sid’s return is more than likely a one time affair. The WWE’s point with all of these legends matches is to promote the 1,000th episode of Monday Night RAW. Each week the program has aired classic skits and sketches, including the infamous Vince McMahon hospital visit from a certain “Doctor” Mankind. Bang! Bang!

The WWE is even going through an assortment of past General Managers each week while John Laurinaitis remains “fired” in the interim. Not like we believe it for a second. Big Johnny was the best thing to happen to the WWE in a while (I’d argue that it was more impactful than even the initial return of Chris Jericho), so to throw away his talons.. ahem.. talents away could be detrimental. While I enjoyed Foley hanging around the brands last week, and even wannabee cougar-lady Vickie sorted out some impressive matchups, Laurinaitis still proves the best option.

It would’ve been interesting to see Eric Bischoff make a return (and perhaps bring out Nash) if not for his TNA contract.

Now, back to the matter at hand: Sid. How cool are these weekly beatdown of Heath Slater by the hands of an assortment of washed up, wood-carving 60-year old slugs? Slater getting slapped off the top turnbuckle and Bingobombed by the former Sid Justice nearly made up for a personal rough day at the office. And what’s going to happen when Koko B. Ware donut dropkicks the “One Man Band” to oblivion next week?

Well, he’ll get donut dropkicked into oblivion.

And, with the WWE making a couple of big steps back into our graces this week with Dolph Ziggler’s impending face turn (or at least a terrific triple threat triangle with Albertooooooo Dellllll Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriooo and Sheamus) and a potentially great Jericho/John Cena rivalry — wait, didn’t I suggest this last week? — the fed could do no worse than grant Sid another opportunity to put someone back down on that rolling foam.

And that’s for thinking I was dead, boi!

Just remember, Sid’s match with Slater pretty much lasted longer than Lord Tensai’s entire newfound career as Cena’s shogun samurai archenemy. The whole Big Show/Funkosaurus thing isn’t quite working out either (why won’t WWE put over anyone?), Vickie’s sporting bathing suits again (come on, man), and CM Punk’s about to get “Elizabeth’d” (A.J…….? Will you….marry meeeeee, yeahhhhh!!???!???!!!!).

Yup, having the ol’ Sycho throw his back out each week performing powerbombs ain’t such a bad idea.

At all.

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