Memorial Mass: For the supes who never came back. Yet.

The good ol’ comic book death. If nothing else, the thought sure as hell sells a lot of books. A couple deaths even took this pastor back to the promised land. If not for Ed Brubaker’s “Death of Captain America”, Grant Morrison’s “Batman R.I.P.”, and Alan Moore’s “Watchmen” a.k.a. “The Death of Everyone,” who knows if I’d be scripting this passage today. Thankfully, though, some superheroes do stay dead. For now:

But I just cleaned the barn yesterday!
At the hands of Red Lantern Atrocitus — which led to this backyard crash — Abin Sir passes the Green torch to Captain “Highball” Hal Jordan. Millions of comic books are sold, some nifty animation is presented, and the world’s most disappointing superhero movie is made.
While his presence has been revisited throughout “Blackest Night” and “Flashpoint,” there’s no doubt Abin’s death surges our most famous Green Lantern throughout Geoff Johns spectacular title.
Hold on. A few of our altarboys just fainted.
A lot of Marvel fans rejoiced when the company did the smart thing by offing Sentry. This Fabio-inbued Superman ripoff may have had the “power of one-million exploding suns,” yet also had the mental capacity of a small puppy. When “The Void” came to get him, Robert Reynolds had no idea what back alley dive-bar he was weeping in.
So, we thank you, Thor, and thank you, Mjolnir, for ending the second-rate Siege.
Great. Now the Ultimate X-Men books won't even feature X-Men.

 

 

 

Basically, the entire Ultimate X-Men line. No wonder writers have had a tough time pushing quality stuff when there’s no Archangel, Beast, Cyclops, Dazzler, Gambit, Longshot, Magneto, Nightcrawler (dead in both universes!), Wolverine (!!!), etc. etc. etc. available at their fingertips.

Unless Brian Wood does something fancy this upcoming month, I’d take it up with Marvel to strongly reconsider their Ultimate policy.
R.I.P. Benjamin Parker, Jean Grey, Banshee, Forge, Gwen Stacey (hi, movie ASM), Red Skull, Ares, and all of those who had the unfortunate distinction of participating in “Identity Crisis.”

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2 Replies to “Memorial Mass: For the supes who never came back. Yet.”

  1. Yeah, dude, I felt the script was a little week. In a perfect world the guy who wrote the source material — Geoff Johns — would’ve co-wrote the screenplay, as well.

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