OLD MAN HAWKEYE #1 – Marvel Comics
“Cardinal” Roberto de Bexar

What is up, congregation?! Your one and only “Cardinal” Roberto de Bexar is back with another comic take for your viewing pleasure. So, the one complaint that I had when the Old Man Logan story arc ended was that — because Lemire’s run was so good — I wanted more “Old Man” stories. Thankfully, it appears that longtime NY Daily News editor/reporter Ethan Sacks has stepped up to the challenge to tell the other side of the story: Hawkeye’s last hurrah before finally going blind. One of the fun things about the Old Man series is seeing the almost dystopian twist on our beloved heroes and this one is no different.

Sacks gives us an insane twist on a Multiple Man whose clones no longer listen to the original, a new Venom and a Bullseye who might just be more than meets the eye. Marcho Checchetto’s artwork is close to Steve McNiven’s and it works so freaking well with the story. His linework is crisp, clean, dynamic, and evokes astounding emotion between Clint and Cecilia Reyes (with great use of her, by the way) and Clint and his daughter. With the way the issue ends, Sacks seems to be building up to something big; hell– if this is even half as good as Mark Millar’s run on Old Man Logan, then we are in for an absolute wild hillbilly hoo-rah. 4.25/5 Bibles.

-Robert Bexar

SECRET WEAPONS #0 – Valiant Comics
Jason “Bad Preacher” Bud

Nikki Finch flings ‘em in by the flockful, and we’re not talkin’ ‘bout yer run-a-tha-feedlot chickadeedle-dees here, neither… These birds are literally talkin’ more than they’re squawkin’… Sooo…how is it that this All-American girl with her blondage-and-blues seems to possess the talent to tweety-tweet-tweet with the beakers club, here? Seems there’s some kinda Mocking Jay-like shadow organization that’s been spying on our daydreaming teen thru the awe-full ever-watching eye of the internet…

So…do you see how those spooks hiding behind the black mirrored curtain can call out to ya after you’ve posted yer vids and yer texts and yer tweets online that display the prowess of your former gymnastic feats, Miss Finch? That magical little thing called “privacy” was slam-ham-a-jammed into last century’s subatomic dustbin… We’re all crawling under the iFukkt techno lens now, and not-a-one of us even flinches a pinch of dust when they ratchet those flames up into us anymore…

Scribe Eric Heisserer‘s (Shaper, Lone Wolf 2100) “Mocking Jay” Birdbrainers have seduced darling Nikki into entering their HGC compound with cult-like panache; offering her gifts of unparalleled grandeur (ones that have long laid dormant with inside of her, actually). Come with starry eyes and open wings unto the whirled of HGC — and righteously eye-seducing sketches from Adam Pollina (X-Force, Big Danger Daddy) — wherein we’ll help you retrieve your transhuman fevering. When ya just give in and let go, you’ll see how powerful you’ve always been, and how great your destiny will be… Just put a little of yer trust within us…even though we’re an absolute mystery, and you don’t really know who or what we are… Come along with us, and fly now… You’ll fly above the stars… And even though you can literally talk to them, this isn’t just for the birds… Not anymore… 4/5 Glitterbombing Turkey Basters.

– Jason “Bad Preacher” Bud

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post