Prometheus: Engineers disappoint God, Scientists disappoint.. Everyone else!

Exclusive review! Exclusive review! Oh, who are we kidding… We’re as late to the party as parents shacked up in the Bahamas during prom season.

But that’s OK: Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s third entry into the world of sci-fi (a perhaps not-so-quite ironic 30-years later), gives us all something to geek about. A lot to debate. There are even conspiracy theorists on YouTube (YouTube!) debating the origin of man, essentially willing to — as I quote one of the scientists in the film — “throw out three centuries of Darwinism.”

And seeing how it’s been over 2 weeks since Prometheus’ opening-day release (thank you 20th Century Fox for the press screening! Yeah, right!), we’ll tackle more of the philosophical debate — hence more questions than answers — and leave much of the film technicalities and character development stuff alone. Because, if you either saw the movie already or at least its trailer, you know it’s downright gorgeous, and, whether you witnessed or not, we’re also sure you’ve heard whispers about Prom‘s silly scientist situations. However, that cheese is also what makes a solid 2012 film a solid 1980s one. It is the prequel to Alien, after all.

As for questionable character choices, none will raise a bigger stink than why David, the ship’s resident robot, played brilliantly by Michael Fassbender, (with First Class‘s Magneto reflecting — and quoting — Peter O’Toole from Lawrence of Arabia) roofied Doctor Holloway’s vodka tonic. Is it unethical programming on the part of David, permission from Guy Pierce’s wrinkly-dying creep Weyland to “experiment” (remember Weyland Yutani Corp from Alien? Ahh..), or merely poolroom payback for Holloway agreeing to doing “anything and everything” to reach the answers he had been looking for?

Perhaps all three.

“He’s got the wholllle world.. in his handss. He’s got the wholllle world in his handsss..”

Either way, the same shit David uses for poison – the eerily black gooey substance – that boils out of the cave’s upside bowling pin thingamajigs, is actually the underlining to the heavy theory circulating the ship’s cabin. Since these toxins gave a wide range of varying results with each action (worms, sip, swallow), such as ironic dweeb Millburn’s return facemelt-terror of the ship, what was “the black” supposed to do once head to the Promised Land? Whether it was intended to fix us, or really fix us, Doctor Shaw (the original Girl With The Dragon Tatoo‘s Noomi Rapace) apparently isnn’t leaving until she finds out — and goes through more Xenomorph abortions to get there.

Sorry Ripley, you ain’t the first.

According to Scott (Ridley Scott), that premise of Shaw’s continued DNA exploration of the “Engineers” could very well lineup a sequel. Since the film’s ending – and some may have claimed it “tacked on,” but it was oh-so-very cool (!!) – closes the chapter on the more imminent of Scott’s film enterprises, Prometheus can finally move beyond the Alien shadow and start a new one.

And it’ll be all about Engineers. So while the term “God” was thrown around very early in the film to describe this not-so-demonstrative demonic folk, it’s certain by the film’s end that they play more the role of God’s disappointing angels. The Highest went and made these creatures nearly flawless in both mind and physical form, and yet their anger and change of heart – creating humans then wanting to kill them! – is what eventually led to their not-so-appetizing end. Thus, we live with more questions than answers.

Unfortunately for those who love everything wrapped up nicely with a little cute red bow, Prometheus serves no more than a debate about the vicious fucking life cycle. But in this case: God creates these Engineers; Engineers create humans (hence why the killer patted David on the head. Nice robot, nice robot); humans — within their hellbound search — create the Aliens that can destroy God’s Engineers. But are there more Engineers than those that perished on the film’s final sequence? Why did the Engineers “invite” the explorers to their homeworld through use of the ancient ruins? What caused the Engineers to change their mind about humanity, thus wanting to kill them, anyway?

Why oh why oh why!?!

Although Shaw, and some few unlucky cohorts, of course, may find most of those answers in a few in P2, I think I’ll take Captain Janek’s blind faith approach on this one. Then again, homeboy won’t be in the sequel now, will he……

3.5 Bibles (out of 5) – Pleasing to Alien/Sci-Fi fans; creates new detached franchise; weak characters; more questions than answers — thanks Lindeloff.

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