SECRET WARS 2099 / INFINITY GAUNTLET / INFERNO / M.O.D.O.K. / INHUMAN [Reviews]: Victor’s (Not-So) Secret.

Secret Wars 2099 #1 --- Marvel Comis
“El Sacerdote” J.L. Caraballo Twitter @captzaff007
“El Sacerdote” J.L. Caraballo Twitter @captzaff007

Secret Wars is still going on, and here we are in the far future of…eighty-four years from now. The Avengers of 2099 (occupying Earth-928), are seen for the first time, and the design is pretty interesting. Captain America is a woman (and seems to be conditioned to set aside her non-Captain persona whenever she wears her Cap outfit), Black Widow (who is prone to extreme violence and hides a stabbing stinger in her forearm), Hawkeye (who has wings and talons, and seems a bit more practical than his Earth-616 counterpart), Iron Man (nothing too new here, although this Iron Man seems very reminiscent of the Ultimate Iron Man), and Herc (a Thor surrogate who is prone to drinking…a lot). As with the other heroes at Earth-928, these Avengers are owned by the Alchemex corporation, and are liable to follow through with their terms and in their interest. Will (Defenders) Sliney‘s character design is slick, keeping to the color schemes of the current heroes, and, seeing as the story opens with the foiling of a robbery, it’s nice ot see these new iterations in action, how they interact, and their foibles (especially Herc…jeez). And, refreshingly, it’s great to see Peter (X-Factor, Spider-Man 2099) David‘s completely different take on Captain America. A badass woman? Married, and with kids, no less? That raises the stakes incredibly as the Secret Wars wage on, and the over-arching reach of Alchemex is — again, refreshingly — not entirely, transparently evil; not to say “nuanced”, but whatever they’re up to during the Secret Wars, it’s not overtly evil. This is a fun read, quick and to the point, and it sets up an interesting angle to the arc. Also, how is this the first time the Avengers 2099 have ever been seen? 5/5 Non-alcoholic apple ciders.

JaDarrel “The Belser” @TheBelser

I got my copy of Infinity Gauntlet #1 and enjoyed every second of it. The primary reason for my enjoyment? The fact that it deals with, what the Beler feels, is the best aspect of the Marvel Universe right now: Cosmic Marvel. This story in particular focuses on an African American family, The Bakians, who seem to be living in a post-apocalyptic Earth. Unfortunately life after civilization doesn’t seem as fun as Mad Max makes it out to seem, as they’ve been dividing their time between dealing with issues such as: 1.) Bickering with each other because their mother left them to join the Nova Corps and has yet to return, and 2.) They’ve been busy dodging gigantic man-eating bugs that seem to have taken over! Its not looking too good for them. That is until the daughter, Anwen, discovers a glowing stone with unbelievable power (and no not one of the Dragonballs). Could this be one of the Infinity Stones and, if so, how does this bode for the fam when Thanos comes a-lookin’? I loved the story by Gerry Duggan (Deadpool) and Dustin Weaver (Avengers, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic). The infighting between the family is the driving force of the book and never gets annoying. Weaver pulls double duty as the book’s artist. Now, the artwork didn’t overwhelm me but I hope that, as the book progresses, it will feature the grandeur of space a bit more. That being said, the panel of the family initially running from giant bugs was pretty awesome. 3/5 Belser Bibles.

“Sister” Jennifer Flatebo @JenniferFlatebo

I probably grew up with X-Men a little differently than most other comic book geeks, introduced to it through the (ridiculously fantastic) cartoon series in the 90’s. It only made me want to read and learn about the characters more. I fell in love with Wolverine and things…got pretty serious between us after that (no details). So when I picked this version up I was a bit surprised. These were definitely some of the characters I loved, albeit in different roles. Although not too far removed from their original versions, I couldn’t help but notice they came with a bit more despair and sadness. Hence the writer Dennis Hopeless? We follow Colossus mostly on his quest to save his sister, Illyana, from the demons that destroyed pretty much everything. And in good ol’ fashioned X-men fashion, everything went wrong; there’s an overly dark tone that was a bit too much for me, as the story takes a path that I may not follow in the future. Beware dear readers: You may not like where this story goes, but there may be something here still worth given a try. 3.5/5 Bibles.

"Heirophant" Luke @LUKEPOISONER
“Heirophant” Luke
M.O.D.O.K. Assassin #1

M.O.D.O.K. Assassin #1 is the best comic I’ve read in ages. That is to say, it’s completely terrible – but in the way Keith Giffen used to write Lobo stories. This is the dumbest thing I’ve read from Marvel since Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E., which is widely regarded by myself and two of my good friends as the best comic series in history.

You all know who and what M.O.D.O.K. Is, right? Well, this Secret Wars tie-in puts you, the reader, in Killville, M.O.D.O.K.’s fiercely defended territory on Battleworld, as we follow him through what appears to be just an ordinary day. I think that’s what was happening. There’s a plot (something about a Nimrod CPU and a crush on Angela), provided by Christopher Yost (Scarlet Spider), but it hardly matters.

This high-energy and low-comedy action feast is a treat for upcoming artist Amilcar Pinna, with vintage roadsters and Sentinels and explosions and M.O.D.O.K.’s big stupid face cramming every page. It’s fantastic. I don’t even feel guilty. This is a 5/5 Bible comic. The editor will no doubt amend the score to something more sensible…

**Disclaimer from Editor “Dynast” Dana Keels: GHG in no way supports the views of the individual in this review. Those views and opinions are purely of the individual.**

(We now continue our review) …but just between you and me, this is the best comic out this week. It should be taught to schoolchildren as part of the education curriculum. Give it as a present to in-laws and family members, even the ones you hate. Fuck yeah, comics.

**It’s me, your Editor again. Sorry guys, just make up your own score for this one!**

"Cardinal" Roberto de Bexar @RobBex2
“Cardinal” Roberto de Bexar @RobBex2

It seems that the masterful “Monsignor” Moody thinks of me when he thinks of either the Inhumans or S.H.I.E.L.D. and considering that your humble Cardinal is more human than human, I will say thank you for the compliment. That all being said, Battleworld is seriously confusing and exciting me at the same time and most of the comics related to them are “hit or miss” with me. Inhumans: Attilan Rising is a BIG hit right out of the park! Charles Soule (Wolverines) did something that I didn’t think was really possible, he made me actually interested in an Inhumans (Dear God! What?!) comic! He made Medusa and her royal court intriguing, he mixed in 1602’s Daredevil in with a resistance AND he gave us readers a Ghost Rider from the 1930’s with cliché dialogue and all with a very cool surprise at the end (BIG REVEAL and no, I won’t spoil it here). You, and by you I also mean I the reader, finally get to see who is working on taking down Doom and just what does “The Quiet Room” lead to? Come on Soule! Work with me here! That being said, and complained about, John (Harley Quinn) Timms’ artwork is crisp, clean and action packed! The lines and colors are very nice and well done; but if there is a trip up with the book – and this is a minor thing with me – it’s the layout. There are panels within panels (Panelception) that, in my humble opinion, distracts from the bigger picture, but please don’t let my hang-ups be your hang-ups. Soule is just giving Timms’ a lot to work with and that is not a bad thing. Go out and pick it up. Trust me, you’ll thank me. 4/5 Inhuman Holy Texts.

"Father" Joe Tower @whateverjoe
“Father” Joe Tower

To say we might need some context to fully appreciate this reboot of the neo-classic Millar series is like a wedding without an open bar – it’s like, “Uh…duh.” For the sake of word count, I’m going to assume most of you are familiar. In any case, our O.G. Logan is back, doing his best Clint Eastwood impression, drifting along the plains of this alternate Marvel dystopian future where, after fallout from a superhero genocide, the bad guys are in charge. This was, and still is, a clever, if not a little too precious, concept. This time, however, Bendis (Ultimate Spider-man) has gotten the pacified Logan to re-snikt his claws and continue to carve out his own brand of Wild West-style justice, and the appearance of a dated model Ultron head is not only a timely reference in light of the recent film, but also the catalyst that sends our Good Logan in search of a little Bad and Ugly. Fans of Mr. Bendis will find him up to some of his old tricks, after all the storyline is just one long gimmick begging for in-jokes, and despite the fact that the story is heavy in tone, the writing is never short on playfulness. Andrea Sorrentino‘s (Green Arrow; I, Vampire) art reeks of old Frank Miller, but I dug on the frenzied Pollack spatter of the Berserker panels and all the sun-scorched horizons that i hope Logan will eventually get to ride into – Sergio Leone would glady take his due credit. 3/5 Bibles.

“Brother” Matt McGrath @bendsteelnhands

In Renaissance England, Doom is worshiped as a God, and a Hawk-eyed thief and her band are hunted and trapped by a nasty sheriff known as the Punisher. Meanwhile in ancient Egypt, slaves with unique abilities, toil away building temples and pyramids for the moon god, Khonsu. A Moon Knight ensnares the would be X-slaves. Secret Wars: Journal 1 is all too familiar, but still different, and a lot of fun. Prudence Shen (Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong) and Michael Rosenberg keep the plot moving. There’s a little bit of scene setting and a lot of action. Ramon F. Bachs (Star Wars, Amazing Spider-Man) and Luca Pizzari‘s (Amazing Spider-Man Special #1) pencils look rough and a bit rushed, but the colors add pop to each panel. It’s a fun ride, and if you’re reading all the Secret Wars books (Which you might as well), you won’t be disapoointed. 3.25/5 Other Worlds.

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