WWE EXTREME RULES 2019 [Ringside Apostles Preview]: Men In Black.

It’s that time of the year again. This Sunday night, in the city where Hardcore was born, WWE presents, Extreme Rules 2019! And of course, the Apostles are ready to take it to the Extreme with our extreme preview.




Aleister Black v Cesaro
“Father” Sean Farrell
@IAMSCF

For weeks, Aleister Black has been asking for anyone man enough to step up to him. Who’s the one who knocks? Walter White isn’t the man who answered Aleister’s call to action — but the Swiss Superman himself, Cesaro! The Swing v The Black Mass. The Up and Comer vs The Rudderless Ship. Both these men can go. Both are excellent characters with two of the best solo entrances going today. Crowd favorites, indy Darlings – whatever you want to label them. These two Europeans know how to put on a Hell of a match. Calling this match the “sleeper hit” isn’t really much of a stretch. MOTN candidate for sure.

PREDICTION: Aleister Black wins– but Cesaro looks strong as always.

-Sean Farrell




RAW Tag Team Championship
The Revival (c) v The Usos
“The Dean” Gene Selassie
@GeneSelassie

I know that once upon a time, I said that the Revival and the Usos would have one of the best tag team feuds in the entire wrestling industry. But between the waffling of creative by making Dash and Dawson, one week, look like complete job guys, then the next week, appear like the top team on Raw; and.. the Usos getting dragged down with them and not made to look like the dominant contenders they were on SmackDown a year or two ago, this feud has already gotten lukewarm. The champions need a strong and decisive win to wash the stench of bad creative off of them.

PREDICTION: The Revival. Yeah.

-Gene Selassie




Last Man Standing
Bobby Lashley v Braun Strowman
“Pastor” Shawn Puff
@ShawnPuffy

What have they done to Braun? He was a monster.. and then they made so many mistakes with this guy. From Nicholas to those two guys from SNL to getting squashed by Brock. Even here, when they’re trying to make him look like a monster again, they have him put Lashley through the stage on Monday– only to have Strowman appear to be the injured one; Lashley then shows up on SmackDown the following night and Braun is no where to be found. But this is last man standing, so expect these two behemoths to beat each other from pillar to post until one of them (Lashley) can’t get back to his feet.

PREDICTION: The Monster Among Men finally gets back on the right track and vanquishes Lashley.

-Shawn Puff




Cruiserweight Championship
Drew Gulak (c) v Tony Nese
Destiny “Evangelical” Edwards
@mochaloca85

I was told something last month that has stuck with me: If [Mustafa] Ali and Cedric Alexander were the heart and soul of 205 Live, then Drew Gulak is its central nervous system. With Ced, Ali and Buddy Murphy off being Main Event Superstars, he –and his having a character that makes him distinctive– has been keeping the show off life support. If anyone deserves to hold the Prince Memorial Championship, it’s him.

PREDICTION: Gulak needs to win here, especially since the Fed has started letting folks win in their hometowns. Tony Nese was a fine champ prior to Stomping Grounds and he’d be fine again, but the 205 roster is being eroded. The show will go on without him and his many abs. It can’t survive without Drew Gulak.

-Destiny Edwards




United States Championship
Ricochet (c) v AJ Styles
“Reverend” Lauro Rojas
@Cheeky_Basterds

Every Indie wrestling fan’s dream is coming true with this stupendous program between Styles and Ricochet, even including the defunct Club and partnering up with a heel Styles. With that being said expect these high flyers to put on a clinic in the squared circle that’ll more than likely overshadow any stipulation match on the card.

PREDICTION: A heel Styles is what’s best for business (is that still a thing?) but I think the ‘E has a lot riding on Ricochet, finger blasting be damned! Expect lots of flips, kicks and Club shenanigans abound with Richochet retaining. Mayhaps with a three-on-three program in the immediate future but then who might come to high-flyers aid? In the end, Ricochet retains the US strap.

-Lauro Rojas




Handicap Match
SmackDown Women’s Championship
Bayley (c) v Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross
“Pastor” Shawn Puff
@ShawnPuffy

So let me get this straight, if Bliss and Cross win they’re co-champions? Sort of like Lay-Cool was? So there is really no reason at all to have Bayley go over here?

PREDICTION: Nikki pins Bayley for the win to kick this storyline into high gear and set the co-champs on an inevitable collision course over the belt.

-Shawn Puff




SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The New Day v The Planet’s Champions (c) v Heavy Machinery
Anthony “PriestMode” Holloway
IG @Grumpykore

Are SD titles being swapped around like hotcakes this year? Peeps seem to dig the old fighting, Demolition-style of Heavy Machinery and a weird craziness of the bushwhacker ground and pound. Add Rowan to the mix of these powerhouse’s and we have a OK Battle ahead of us, a couple good spots, table in play of chairs, and.. a title in the face. I hope it has some sort of the Hardcore, too, but we’ll just have to see how far the ref allows it.

PREDICTION: I see this turning out in Machinery‘s favor. DBry can add some Dragon Style to it but I don’t see them winning this match.

-Anthony Holloway




WWE Championship
Kofi Kingston v Samoa Joe
“Pastor” Shawn Puff
@ShawnPuffy

Kofi has had a very solid World Title run. However, he’s still stuffing pancakes down his crotch and skipping to the ring and despite getting over with the children has not been able to look like a serious champion. Please, someone make it stop. The Champ makes me think of that stupid WB Frog every time he shows up on my screen. Joe has had three unsuccessful shots at the Universal or WWE Championship and, of course, dropped the US Title to little Rey Jr. as well. A loss here could really take away from the potential he has of being viewed as monster heel champion. Hopefully, someone in the back realizes this other than me.

PREDICTION: Joe finally gets over the hump and captures the WWE Championship by putting Kofi to sleep.

-Shawn Puff




The Graveyard Dogs v Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre
Richard “Bishop” Zom
@eyebzombie

What’s sadder? The fans force-fed Roman Reigns push to limitless “getting over” attempt, or the return of the “it’s over but I’m not okay with it just yet” Undertaker? Them teaming up. I mean, hell man I’m a huge Taker fan; I love his body of work, but after that Goldberg match… that was literally the last ride to devil’s gate, putting the nail in the coffin to resting in peace. But noooo. Let’s put them against Shane” I wanna be like dad and narcissistically put myself over with the boys” McMahon and team with Drew “I should have stayed in the Indies” McIntrye.

PREDICTION: This match is just a cluster. While some cool spots will happe I’m sure, this is just not a good idea, booking wise. Either way, this won’t end well. But hey! Duct tape fixes everything right.

-Richard Zom




Winner Takes All Intergender Match
RAW Women’s & Universal Championships
Becky Lynch (c) & Seth Rollins (c) v Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans
“Pastor” Shawn Puff
@ShawnPuffy

God. Does anybody care about this match? Seth Rollins went from being a dominant ass-kicker that everyone loved to being a goofball, crybaby who we just want to go away. Then there’s Becky… The Man gimmick was great leading up to WrestleMania and.. then it just lost it’s steam for whatever reason. They tried to make her Stone Cold but the only thing stone cold is the reaction this storyline is getting. And then someone (Dana Warrior) decided to make their off-screen romance part of the storyline. This has been an utter and total failure. Nobody cares.

So now we have Team Who Wears The Pants defending both the RAW Women’s and Universal Championships in a winner-takes-all intergender match against Baron Snorebin and the woman with the worst Southern accent I’ve ever heard, Lacey Evans. Ugh! If there is a wrestling God (I’m looking at you JBL), Corbin and Evans will get the win and the titles and, then, the Beast Incarnate will cash in on Snorebin and put an end to this bad dream for us with the swerve of all swerves bro! A boy can wish right??

PREDICTION: Of course, Dana Warrior is going to protect resident Soap Stars so she can continue writing her romance novel, so Becky and Seth get the win and everyone pukes a little bit in their mouths.

-Shawn Puff

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