Welcome, my brothers and sisters of the squared circle. Let the Bishop take you back to that beloved era that many of us old school wrasslin’ fans remember so well. I’m talking about the larger than life, 80’s era of professional wrestling with the World Wrestling Federation (as they will forever be known by your one and only ring historian). This was when the now WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) was establishing its legacy in the business.
Now, of course, “The Fed” has evolved into so much more.
From WWE Studios, to the recently added WWE Network, Vince McMahon and company seem to be planning another war. This time Netflix may fall victim to the same beatdown Ted Turner’s WCW (World Championship Wrestling) suffered.
WWE has officially invaded the Reality TV market and with superkicks a flyin’ (Cue Kenny Sanders), as fans new and old get their own squared-circle dose of the “Surreal Life” while living in the “Real World.” Can you say MTV on the juice?! Yes! Yes! Yes! You heard right, GHGers. Hitting the airwaves like a five star frog splash, is the WWE Legends’ House.
Watch your beloved stars of the golden age of wrestling become the new era of gold bond powder. Laugh till you cry, as you watch Tony Atlas (former Tag Team Champ with the Rock’s dad!), Hillbilly Jim (Mudlick’s finest!), “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (Hooooooooooo!!!!), “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (They Live!), “Mean” Gene Okerlund (“Let me tell you something, brother!”), “The Mouth From the South” Jimmy Hart (legendary manager/entrance theme composer!), Pat Patterson (first ever Intercontinental Champ!), Howard Finkel (“Welcome to WRESTLE MANIAAA!!!”) and Legends House host Ashley, partake in all kinds of shenanigans.
Despite the “Full House”, I was rather entertained as the squared circle veterans introduced themselves to the neighbors and did yoga with deranged TV actor Gary Busey. This sequence particularly annoyed Piper due to Busey making comments about how similar acting is to wrestling and how both industries “play” characters.
Other notable bits of octogenarian wrestling entertainment revolve around:
-Former world class body building champion Atlas looking more like the world’s strongest eater.
-Hart becoming (somewhat) overly adamant about helping the out-of-shape Fink lose weight.
-Mean Gene drools over the hostess with the most-est like it’s his new job.
-Pat Patterson promises…cabbage rolls?
-And you ready for the shocker? Piper goes stir crazy after his first night in the house. The former “Body Slam” actor apparently doesn’t do well socially in groups of people, especially when lix are in the mix. Piper has quit drinking and being around all those elements caused him to have a bit of a mental moment. Howls at the moon seem to help.
All in all, Legends’ House is good fun, with literally all the entertainment minus the wrestling — which I’m sure is coming if any of these guys can manage to get themselves off the La-Z-Boy. Call this Bishop excited for Episode 2. Yes, I know I’m sick but…
“It’s still real to me DAMN IT!”