The cancellation had come on the heels of a series of hacks to the Sony Pictures servers from a group calling itself the “GOP” (the “Guardians Of Peace”, a reference to President Nixon’s visit to the area back in 1971), that had made public over 32,000 private e-mail exchanges amongst the top brass at Sony Pictures, social security and bank account numbers of Sony employees and executives, scripts, notes, and internal memos. Of the emails hacked, racist statements between Sony Pictures head Amy Pascal and other studio heads, including producer Scott Rudin, negotiations between Sony — which owns film rights to the Spider-Man universe and ancillary characters — and Marvel Studios (and which details the possible unification of Spider-Man and the Avengers), as well as the leaking of five completed feature films (including Fury and Annie), and one of the drafts (recent?) of the new James Bond film, Spectre, which details major plot points and set-pieces.

The Village Voice, in reviewing the top films of 2014, did an expose on The Interview and on the controversy therein, and interviewed star/writer Seth Rogen, and director/writer Evan Goldberg. In the piece, Rogen elucidated on how North Korea venerates leader Kim Jong-Un, son of late leader Kim Jon Il, leads his dictates not only the national narrative of his country, but also the narrative history of its media. What does this mean? He is producer, director, and ultimate say in whether a story gets told, a film gets made, or a tale gets published. As with his late father, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un dictates the national narrative of North Korea, which believes the Supreme Leader to be infallible, a god-like being of infallible reason. And if The Interview were to be released, the aura of infallibility would be eroded, and Mr. Kim would be a normal guy, just like any of us. The movie would revolve around an assassination attempt on him, but much like comedies such as Team America: World Police, and even Zoolander (which revolved around the assassination of the Prime Minister of Malaysia), audiences would presumably be sophisticated enough to know that, no, it was not the REAL Kim Jong-Un we were watching.

What is interesting to note is that the Village Voice piece was published one day prior to a second communique from the Guardians Of Peace, one which promised threats of violence and the destruction of any movie theater that dared screened The Interview. Within hours, three major North American theater chains had refused to screen the film. By the end of the day (December 17th) Sony Pictures had announced that they would cancel the premiere of the film. The move by Sony Pictures was an unprecedented move: a major motion picture studio had been blackmailed, by what appeared to be a foreign country, into censoring a film in their own country.

By now, everyone from the FBI, to the CIA, to Sony Pictures, to President Obama himself has indicted North Korea — or at least a state-sanctioned group of hackers known as Bureau 121 — for the cyber-attack. To make matters even more severe, the White House has called the attacks “a serious national security matter” with “a range of options…under consideration right now.”

“There is evidence to indicate that we have seen destructive activity with malicious intent that was initiated by a sophisticated actor,” Obama stated in a press conference, all but confirming North Korea’s involvement. Several American cyber-security firms (including California-based Vindicia) propose the theory that an insider (or perhaps an even disgruntled former Sony employee, with access to the inner workings of the company) hacked the company, covering their tracks by implicating the North Koreans. “All of the evidence [the] FBI cites would be trivial things to do if a hacker was trying to misdirect attention to DPRK,” Vindicia chief technology officer Brett Thomas tweeted soon after the conference. If it was in fact misdirection, that fact would only raise even more questions about what would be the real motive in the threats and hacks.

And while The Interview may indeed have been a satirical view of a day in the life of Kim Jong-Un, the level of suspicion — as well as the sensitivity of the documents released — has caused repercussions throughout the entertainment industry. This is the first time that a hack has halted the released of a film (major, or minor).

But if history is any indicator of trends, this may only be the first time.

In response to the pulling of The Interview from theaters, the Alamo Drafthouse was planning to instead screen a print of 2004’s puppet comedy Team America: World Police. Within the same day of the announcement, Paramount Pictures, which owns Team America, issued a statement saying that any theater screenings were also to be cancelled. While Team America (which also dealt with the death of North Korea’s then-leader, Kim Jong-Il) had not once been mentioned in the GOP’s threats, Paramount played it safe, opting to avoid any reason for blackmail or threats on their company as well.

Sony’s decision to pull The Interview, while unfortunate (unless it sucks, which is highly probable), was simply unavoidable. While Sony owns the film, they do not own movie theater chains, nor can they control distribution. Theater chains are third parties in this scenario, and are provided film prints; once the major theater chains pulled out of distribution (and since no online steaming service, perhaps for fear of retaliation or of having their own servers hacked, stepped in to offer distribution) Sony had copies of a movie but nowhere to distribute.

TIme to make this official already…cinematically.

For us Geeeeeeeeeekksss, what does this mean? We now know the extent of Sony’s talks with Marvel Studios. Sony, which owns the rights to Spider-Man, has entertained at least a tentative offer to allow their franchise headliner into the extended Marvel Cinematic Universe. While he would be presumably featured (presumably as a cameo or other small reference), it would be Sony Pictures who dictates his story and how he is used, having final say in any use of him by Marvel. Presumably, this would lead to yet another reboot of the Webslinger — the second in less than a decade — and also presumably lead to the recasting of Andrew Garfield‘s Peter Parker (arguably one of the only great decisions Sony made with the franchise). As it stands though, this plan was entertained for the briefest of moments between the two studios and is not in serious consideration anymore. But given Sony’s inability to revitalize the Spider-Man series, it seems they are entertaining any and all options.

As for their other franchise, the 52-year-old James Bond series (of which they too own distribution and DVD/blu-ray rights), leaked internal emails from Ms. Pascal dated January of 2014 has revealed her opinion that Idris Elba would make a great James Bond once current Bond Daniel Craig‘s contract is up (he’s still got one film left to his contract, and has not hidden his eagerness to vacate the role). Elba has certainly got the clout, the pedigree, and his casting would be a great progressive move for a series that has done great work in redefining and modernizing itself. However, in regards to this same series, the production team on the currently-filming entry, 2015’s Spectre, it seems Bond is dipping back into well-trod territory and characters. Email leaks have revealed several character descriptions and set pieces (at least one more train fight, mountain-set action, and a “climax in the rain”), and the reveal of a major villain returning, as well as a budget that once neared $300 million. Bigger, bloated, and dipping into tried and true territory.

Beats playing Luke Cage.

In the wake of this massive leak of information, lawsuits have been lobbied against torrent sites that offer Sony’s leaked films, and Sony executives have had to offer massive mea culpas to the people they’ve offended in their emails (President Obama, and actor Kevin Hart are two specific people mentioned). The bigger issue is the future. Back in 1988, when furor of Last Temptation was at its zenith, threats and protests were made, and boycotts executed. However, it was lobbied at specific theaters for a specific film, and within specific countries. Americans were protesting an American film that was playing in America. The difference with The Interview comes from the fact that North Korea was lobbing threats about what content can be screened in American theaters, for American eyes. And that is the danger. It was not Sony Pictures that caved, but the movie theater chains who opted out of screening the film, and the streaming sites who offered no alternative distribution, and the executives and employees of Sony Pictures (and other major studios) who refused to offer any support for the producers and executives whose information was leaked.

The underlying reaction was fear.

Paramount’s pulling of prints of Team America was fear-based. And the media reaction was likewise fear-based. The lack of any vocal support for Sony was fear-based. Sony’s canceling of the premiere is simultaneously, and paradoxically, both surprising and yet could not have gone any other way. How else would anyone react in such a situation, with such a threat (which conjured reminders of September 11th) and in such a dramatic way? Going forward, will studios and filmmakers censor themselves? Already Fox has shelved a Gore Verbinski-helmed, Steve Carell drama called Pyongyang, which would have been set in North Korea. Fox Studios, following Paramount’s example, presumably wants to avoid any threat of hacks on their own servers. So what will studios do going forward? Will they strive more for the broad, generic, safe tentpole pictures and continue to shy away from provocative, dramatic, current event films? What will be the state of comedy and satire? What of parody? What of irking mindsets and changing opinions by presenting an uncomfortable truth? Will challenging, uncompromising films or works from unconventional directors be largely ignored for the safer bets, now for fear of threats as well as fear of “losing” a weekend box office?

Gore Verbinski, upon hearing that his film was cancelled, had this to say:

“Getting the facts straight:

Yesterday, I was told by New Regency and Fox that Fox will no longer be distributing the film. Prior to that, the film was green lit and fully funded by New Regency with Fox distributing. I have been told in no uncertain words that based on the situation at Sony, Fox has now decided to not distribute the film. Without a distributor, New Regency was forced to shut the film down.

My thoughts:

I find it ironic that fear is eliminating the possibility to tell stories that depict our ability to overcome fear.”

During an interview with Deadline about the hack, and what it means to the new Hollywood paradigm, George Clooney so eloquently explained why the cancellation of The Interview is so important and why it has set a new and dangerous precedent:

“The truth of the matter is, of course you should be able to make any movie you want. And, you should take the ramifications for it…But to say we’re going to make you pull it. We’re going to censor you. That’s a whole other game. That is playing in some serious waters and it’s a very dangerous pool….What I’m concerned about is content. I’m concerned that content now is constantly going to be judged on a different level. And that’s a terrible thing to do. What we don’t need happening in any of our industries is censorship. The FBI guys said this could have happened to our government….That’s the most important part. We cannot be told we can’t see something by Kim Jong-un, of all fucking people.”

***UPDATE*** Sony is now set to release The Interview on Christmas Day, but the film will likely only show up in about 100 indie theaters or so. So, don’t go strolling down to your local AMC after a few shots of morning Egg Nog looking for it. And that’s a shame — and not exactly a win, as the PR people are attempting to make this news today appear — considering the streaming service BitTorrent (which had successfully streamed the excellent The Act of Killing earlier this year) has offered to release the film online, which would appear to be the safest bet for the filmmakers.

Ultimately, we can always be told we shouldn’t see something, but we shouldn’t be told that we can’t see something.

Sources:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-30560712

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/12/19/exclusive-sony-emails-reveal-studio-head-wants-idris-elba-for-the-next-james-bond.html

http://www.tomsguide.com/us/sony-hack-skeptics,news-20037.html

deadline.com/2014/12/george-clooney-sony-hollywood-cowardice-north-korea-cyberattack-petition-1201329988/

www.joblo.com/movie-news/gore-verbinski-and-steve-carell-respond-to-cancelled-north-korean-thriller-320

www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/12/18/texas-theater-refuses-to-let-terrorist-hackers-win-so-itll-give-out-free-toy-guns-and-screen-team-america/

fortune.com/2014/12/18/white-house-sony-hack/

The Multiversity – Thunderworld — DC Comics

Ryan “Salvation” Scott @ radio_adventure

Captain Marvel (aka Shazam) will be making his way to the silver screen within the next few years, so it makes sense that DC would be starting the process of reminding comic book readers that he exists. What better way to do so than enlist the help of legend Grant Morrison (Batman, All-Star Superman) to pen a truly fantastic book for The Multiversity series, in The Multiversity – Thunderworld Adventures.

This one-off story pits our hero against the mad scientist Sivana in a plot that involves time travel, monsters and (GASP!) an eighth day of the week! Somehow, Morrison manages to make a relatively layered and complex story totally readable and never confusing in a short amount of time. It feels like a very classic book in the vain of DC’s silver age. A concise, but very complete story. To go along with Morrison’s perfectly executed script, Cameron Stewart (Superman Adventures, The Invisibles), with the help of colorist Nathan Fairbairn (Scott Pilgrim, Batman Incorporated), crafted a truly gorgeous and classic looking book from cover to cover. In short, this is quite possibly a perfect comic and should be on everyone’s pull list this week.

5/5 Bibles

Flash Gordon Holiday Special — Dynamite Comics

“Father” Joe Tower
@whateverjoe

So, I’m going to try not to be a Scrooge in this review of Dynamite Comics’ Flash Gordon
Holiday Special.

I’m going to be generous.

I’m going to be giving.

I’m going to be kind.

The truth is, it’s a fast, fun read, and for any of us who are fans of Flash Gordon mythos (if you
can call it mythos), this contemporary spin on our ace athlete, Flash, and the good Doctor, and Dale Arden, is a perfect, bite-size example of how slick sure-handled genre pieces can be when written in a modern tone.
These three holiday-inspired stories ultimately tie together as Flash and Doctor Hans make a charitable Christmas visit to a planet not nearly as needy as they originally thought; as Juhrg of lost planet Figia and a displaced Jewish family in Belarus teach one another some complex
lessons about friend and foe; and as the hip, metropolitan social exploits of Dale Arden over the course of three consecutive New Years’ Eves show just how much things can change in a year.

In keeping with the spirit, I’m going to wish all of you — Congregation and Clergy of Cool, alike
— a Happy Holidays, and a great New Year’s.

And I’m going to give the Flash Gordon Holiday Special an unprecedented 4/5 Golden Rings.

Batman And Robin #37 — DC Comics

“Dynast” Dana Keels
IG @hatandwand

Now, usually, I’d be against putting a “Spoiler” first, but when the internet and the publisher itself has already heavily revealed the outcome of the five-part “Robin Rises” story arc, there’s really no point pretending you don’t already know.

Damian is back.

But as they say, it’s not where we arrive but the journey we take. With that said, this conclusion is one hell of a journey. The book opens on Apokolips, where we get to see Bruce, equipped with the Hellbat suit, duke it out with none other than Darkseid. Whom, if you remember, actually killed Bruce during Final Crisis.

Getting down to it, the book is light on plot. It’s essentially a beat-‘em-up, and thanks to the phenomenal artwork by Patrick Gleason (Green Lantern Corps, Aquaman), its a ridiculously joyous beat-‘em-up to read. Every page is rendered with beautiful bat-smashing artwork that had me re-reading this issue at least 4 times. The art alone would have me give this book a perfect score.

Detracting from the book though, is the fact that Damian’s resurrecting is shrouded in a bit of confusion. How he actually returns, doesn’t make too much sense, even from a comic stand point, but what can you do? His return was inevitable, and its obvious the way he returns isn’t important. At the end of the day, seeing Bruce pick a fight with Darkseid over the fate of his son is reason enough, as if you needed anymore, to pick up this book.

4/5 Hellbat Suits

“Clergyman” Myke Ladiona @onemyke

Rumble #1 — Image Comics

Growing up as a kid in the eighties and nineties it’s hard not to be excited when someone gets fantasy in a modern day setting right. Once you’re five pages into Rumble #1 from Image Comics, it also really seems like writer John Arcudi (Barb Wire) and artist James Harren (B.P.R.D., Conan) are onto something pretty exciting. Harren’s semi-surrealist artistry works really well to bring to life the very otherworldly beings, coherently blending them into a recognizable version of the world that we live in. The genuinely witty humor that Arcudi writes gives the story relatability, and works well with exaggerated way that Harren draws the human characters. The world feels like a very dark Neil Gaiman mixed with the meta-humor of Edgar Wright.

The traits of the human characters in the book are universal enough to be recognizable to the average person, but specific enough to feel like actual people. That human element is the perfect balance to the strange beings that have awakened in that world and Arcudi does a great job at providing the perfect amount of world-exposition through the character’s various reactions to what is happening to them. While there might not be a lot to say about what the story of Rumble will eventually grow into, it’s very apparent that the narrative is in very competent hands.

4.5/5 Undead Cats

Solitary #1 — Devil’s Due Entertainment

“El Sacerdote” J.L. Caraballo Twitter @captzaff007

Solitary #1, is the first issue of the first comic written by CW Cooke (by way of his Kickstarter!) and illustrated by Nando Souzamotta, of which this is also his first published work. While certainly feeling and looking fresh (the artwork is reminiscent of the hyper-kinetic and angular lines of Genndy Tartakovsky, of Samurai Jack fame), for some reason suffers from what can only be described as “evil corporate CEO fatigue”. It has become a bit tiresome that “corporation” or “CEO” immediately seems to equal “evil/greedy/selfish/etc.” (and I’m not defending corporate bodies or anything), but even in this first issue, the villain (the judge who sentenced Tim, a wrongly-convicted superhero to death) seems too evil. It is too over-the-top to be taken seriously, and while the series can (and probably will) explore some of the complications of the penal system and wrong convictions and all that…I can’t take the judge seriously. It’s too one dimensional that it wound up distracting me.

However, that being said, the comic is a fun read, and quite a gift from Kickstarter. Once Tim comes back to life in the middle of his autopsy, it gets to be quite interesting, and the flashbacks to pieces of his backstory piqued my interest. there’s enough mystery and intrigue (and, again, fun, dynamic artwork) on display to keep me going on with the series. Here’s hoping they add another dimension here, though.

3/5 Wrongful Electric Chair Executions

And with that, fellow geeks, we wish you a happy holiday season, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is definitely the best of the trilogy. Of course, that may not be saying much overall. The first movie, An Unexpected Journey, felt like a song and dance flick that had me groaning worse than an hour at the opera. (Thank you again, Peter Jackson, for filling in all those pages of info I didn’t need on the heritage of the fourth rabbit in the reindeer line up.) The second film, The Desolation of Smaug, took nearly the entire movie to see a dragon breathe a breath of flame.

http://youtu.be/iVAgTiBrrDA

As The Battle clearly states, this is the film that rewards us for the previous 6-hours of what some would say meaningless set-up to the real action– unless you count playing water barrels with 12 dwarves fun.

The film starts right where the previous film lets off, so if you haven’t seen that get on it, with Bilbo (TV Fargo‘s Martin Freeman) and his motley crew of dwarves unleashing the dragon Smaug on the helpless humans of Lake-town. All coming down to the valiant bow skills of the Bard (Dracula Untold‘s Luke Evans) who heroically saves the city from Dragon slaughter with a single metal arrow propped William Tell style on his prodigy.

After the sun rises on the scorched city of Lake-town, Bard leads his survivors to the lonely mountain seeking sanctuary from the newly appointed Dwarf king, only to be confronted by the king of the wood elves (Ronan the Accuser a.k.a. Lee Pace) astride a giant moose leading a gold plated army of elves seeking lost elf heirlooms.

Oh, what a Christmas this will be!

Unfortunately the dwarven king Thorin Oakenshield (Captain America‘s Richard Armitage), has went all Scrooge McDuck ala “Dragon Sickness” and isn’t willing to part with a single coin. If only there was a something that could unite this squabbling party? Thanks to a horde of drooling orcs, goblins, trolls — and rock worms straight out of Frank Herbert’s “Dune” — Peter gives us something to remedy that.

My biggest concern with The Hobbit movies in whole, even though I am a fan boy, has always been that they seem more like a video game and less like a retelling of a beloved childhood book. The original Lord of the Rings movies, brought the books to life with a mix of romanticism and epic spectacles. Truly explaining why Tolkien’s work have always been seen as grandfather to the “fantasy” genre. The final “Hobbit” film in the series is not that; but no dollar was spared on CGI making it worth every dollar you may spend on a 3-D movie ticket.

Like just about any video game out nowadays, you must always leave the air of reality behind. When an army of Dwarves or Orcs appears on the horizon, never expect battle tactics beyond what looks cool or what can appear far more menacing on screen. When warrior dwarves deploy an interlocking shield wall two dwarves high, always expect a vanguard of ninja golden elves to come flying over brandishing their very best crouching tiger hidden dragon skills. Or when an over CGI’d dwarven king rides in to battle atop his mighty war hog, always remember that dwarves never ride horses. True to form, even the best hack-and-slash can get tiring if you’ve done nothing more than button mash for the past hour and a half. Thankfully, Five Armies is also the shortest Hobbit movie, but due to lack of time spent on characters it’s also the least cerebral.

Should we have spent another $10 to buy Shadow of Mordor, instead?

Past the added characters and confusing subplots tacked on to the original story, TBOTFA is weighted down and bloated on trying to accomplish too many stories with to little time– which, when you consider Peter Jackson has already used around 9-hours to tell his final fury footed opus, should blow your mind. For example, how are we to care about the added she-elf Tauriel (Ant-Man‘s Evangeline Lilly) and her Romeo and Juliet love affair with the dwarf rake Kili (Being Human‘s Aidan Turner) when it gets less than 90-seconds of screentime and also gets left half-hanging? Or, what about big bad guys that are harder to tell apart and over CGI’d by the names of Bolg and Azog? How are we ever to rally against these evil forces when you can barely tell them apart besides their paler skin?

It also takes a stretch of the imagination when you remember that this giant battle is really only a small counter skirmish in comparison to the larger picture of what’s at stake– even though it does its darnedest to overshadow Helm’s Deep. You do get a glimpse of the looping evil takeover when the combined forces of Saruman, Galadriel, and Elrond come to Gandolf’s (Magneto a.k.a. Ian McKellen) aid against the Necromancer king, even if it does comes off as a bad psychedelic trip when Sauron and his Nazgul are disposed off.

At the end, the saving grace is — and seemingly always has been — Bilbo Baggins. This pint-sized adventurer with a heart of gold has held together the last two films and continues to do so with this final installment. His heroic journey from meekest recluse to reluctant hero is the heart and soul of this saga.

3 (out of 5) Bibles.

WB’s The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies in theaters now.

Bungie’s long awaited seasonal DLC Expansion, The Dark Below had fans and critics alike licking their chops in anticipation. Would this save a game that has been plagued by bad press (other than us, lol), bad loot drops, inane glitches, and just an overall poor report card from those who bought the game? Or could The Dark Below simply dig the grave deeper for a title that has polarized about as many consumers as the love/hate over Call of Duty?

Barring the teaser trailer for the game, The Dark Below doesn’t feature a single cinematic for narrative purposes. The only exposition is, once again, delivered via narration during the travel/loading screen; this time through Eris rather than the loved and hated Dinkelbot (who was conspicuous in his silence this go ’round– I wonder if there’s anything to that).

However, and this is a big however, there is still strangely a little more story that can be attained through side quests, which are divvied out by Eris at the tower, and on top of that, these quests tend to be step-by-step and related to each other; not much different from the Exotic Bounty steps from earlier iterations of the game. This gives the player a feeling of progression.

While not overly difficult, these side-quests/bounties are designed to make the player think, and really kind of work for success. The Urn Quests from Eris/Xur specifically come to mind- “what do you mean i have to MELEE attack the exploding Thralls?!?!?”

Bout time they HD remastered “Space Invaders”!!

The main ‘story’ — if one can call it that — is literally three missions long. Anything that is told about the plot is probably already known by the player through the teaser trailer. Basically it goes like this: Eris was a guardian, went to the moon on a raid with five others, ran into Crota and his legions; all of them died but her, she’s been waiting for years for worthy guardians to come and kick Crota back to oblivion, or really bad shit will happen.

The end.

While the quantity of missions is very low, the quality is surprisingly high. The DLC features three very fun, well designed, and cool missions, but still, only three. It seems like Bungie did, in fact, listen to fan feedback, as the mission style and design of the levels seems to have improved. While not a huge departure from the original game, the player can feel the dial moving in the right direction for these missions– as they don’t only include the standard hold/defend, horde mode, or again, hold/defend. Some enemies/mini bosses are able to de-buff your guardian, or cast down traps that act as land mines.

Despite the main story being only three missions long and being fairly bereft of anything resembling narrative, I still found it very enjoyable and worth my time. The additions of the side quests and the new main strike are plenty to keep the player going for some time to come. New armors and weapons live up to the hype and the wait. And how’s this for a fan service: While the Raid Gear is still the best you can get, one doesn’t actually HAVE to be fully equipped with the Raid items to be over 30! Regular faction armors carry a Light Level of 33, and Exotics go to 36!

And here I thought it was Steve “Mongo” McMichael.

If Crucible wasn’t ever your thing, worry not- you never have to touch it again. What Bungie has done here is provide the player with far more options for leveling your character to the higher echelons, something that was sorely lacking prior to The Dark Below.

This brings us to what most people probably want to hear about: the actual raid itself. Bungie truly has outdone itself here, creating a raid that has many, many layers, and in the early goings, certainly defeat all who attempt to brave the deepest depths of The Hellmouth. Abandoning all hope is all one can do against the staggering might of Crota, and kudos to Bungie for designing this beast of a raid. While not impossible, it takes even far more cooperation and cohesion from your fire team than the Vault of Glass did, and it will induce tears, rage, f-bombs, clan in-fighting, name calling and ton of frustration, but given enough time, you’ll get through it and realize that just like Atheon and The Vault, it’s not so bad after all.

While this expansion probably won’t win anyone back who had given up on the game, it’s more a reward for those of us who have stayed loyal and hopeful that the franchise would improve and that the players were being heard. Plenty of little things that have given the game a refresher will keep us playing for a good, long time to come. The developers are listening, and while of course we can’t expect them to give us everything we want at first, it is a clear indication that with this DLC, Destiny has taken a marked step in the right direction.

4 (out of 5) Holy Bibles of Destiny.

Set your phasers to “stone-faced”.

Set aboard a spaceship that has been traveling 51 years into the galaxy on a quest to reach a distant planet between two suns, Ascension proves even in space there are bad guys. The show opens when one of the passengers/colonists/explorers (you decide) gets murdered, and, apparently, this kind of thing is not commonplace! It sends ship’s Captain William Denninger (Brian Van Holt, Cougar Town) and his crew into a frenzy as they attempt to keep a lid on it. So, yeah. This show pretty much turns into a whodunit in space.

Who wasn’t waiting for a Cougar Town / Battlestar mashup?

And, what’s the point of taking a story like this off Earth, and into space? I don’t know. I guess that’s why there’s three parts, and not just one.

Oh, wait. There’s this subplot where the story keeps flashing back to life on Earth, and the government group that put this very mission together, and there is DEFINITELY something shady going on with that.

One problem I have with this show is the lack of a driving force. They’re stuck in space, floating around, and so the show doesn’t seem to move along at all. Also, although there’s a large amount of supporting characters, no one in particular stands. Viondra (Tricia Helfer, Battlestar Galactica), the captain’s wife, is horribly underused, and so I assume she was cast for her fanboy appeal? I hope I’m wrong and that she plays more prominently into the story later.

As I continued watching this sci-fi movie, wondering where the sci-fi movie elements were, the ship passed through a radiation storm that brings about a turn, not only plot-wise, but action-wise as well. I will also admit that the twist at the end, although annoying, was also equal parts interesting and original.

Am I convincing any of you to watch this show, or are you just tuning out? The fact that this is only a mini-series means maybe it’s worth your time if you’re into sci-fi. If, however, you’re spending you holiday break trying to catch up on all the shows you’ve fallen behind on, I’d let this one pass. 2.25/5 Gas Masks

More happened on one night at NXT R-Evolution than in the past 6-months on the main show. Top to bottom, the WWE Network “PPV” exceeded my already extremely high expectations, beginning with the long-anticipated debut of Kevin Owens. The debut of the man otherwise known as Kevin Steen resulted in a broken nose and ass whooping of a hippy. You got freaking luchadores against old timey strong men. And was anything nuttier than Finn Balor’s entrance and face/body paint?!?

Is that Licker from Resident Evil or Marvel’s Carnage?

SpiderVerse-Suplex. Nasty.

On R-Evolution, fans also got to witness an amazing WOMEN’s title match (sans the word “Diva”) with two real wrestlers that can really go. Oh my GodHatesLee, I love watching Charlotte and Sasha wrestle. I enjoy the story they are telling, their characters, and most importantly the actual wrestling.

Unlike in the WWE, where women wrestlers (or big breasted models) primarily exist to either be crazy — or mere masturbation material for Kevin Dunn and Vince McMahon. Somehow in the bizarro NXT world, these girls are allowed the time and stage to show off their unique wrestling talent and personalities. I certainly understand that this concept may be a little too progressive and cutting edge for the writers in Connecticut.

Look, I haven’t been on a Ringside Apostles podcast in months so it’s Moses time to rant. And I kicked Ramses’ ass til Kingdom Come, so allow me to strut my stuff for God (even if he is a small, British brat).

WHOOOOOOO!!!!

If you’ve got The Network and haven’t watched Takeover: R-Evolution yet, I encourage you to watch this incredible show then watch TLC immediately after. Don’t think I’m just a WWE hater; I just really love pro-wrestling when its done right; I forgot how good it can be. Please give me a show with real characters and real motivations that.. wait for it.. actually take the time to tell a story in and out of the ring.

For one, WWE likes to forget what happens week to week because it believes mainstream America is a mentally challenged ADHD kid (although they are sorta half-right). Guys just do stuff without any thought and they forget about it in a week because, well, fuck it– nobody pays attention anyway. These Superstars are friends, then next week they are enemies with little or no explanation (Harper and Rowan for instance!). It’s nearly impossible to care about characters when there is no continuity with the story. Just saying.

Oh yeah, how about the fact that nothing important ever really happens or changes at WWE. It’s the same matches with the story stuck in neutral (i.e. Hey! How about we do the Usos vs. the Dust Brothers a million more times without any change to the outcome, the story, or the characters). In contrast, this NXT “PPV” show embodied the best of what pro wrestling could be.

Take Sami Zayn’s road to redemption story. Zayn was always great in the ring but was always considered too nice to win the big one. He keeps losing to his former friend Adrian Neville because Neville is willing to “do whatever it takes” to keep his title. Once Zayn realized that he needs to be a bigger dick than Neville to win the title, he really turned a corner– leading fans to Thursday night’s 30-minute classic of a main event. The match climaxes with the ref getting knocked out and Zayn having the opportunity to KO Neville with the belt — which Neville planned to use on him — but guess what? He is not John Cena or even Hogan in his day: Men who will do shitty things to people in order to get what they want.

Bashing this guy with the belt is not consistent with Zayn’s character. He really is a decent guy and on this show he is allowed to win his way. What a concept. He puts the belt down, almost loses, but finally comes back and wins with his signature Helluva Kick after 2-years of heart breaking failure. The Full Sail crowd loses their shit. There was grown men crying after this outcome. Hell, even your one and only wrestling messiah dropped a tear when Zayn’s old buddy Kevin Owens gave him what appeared to be a heartfelt hug…

Then WHAT DO THEY DO!?!? They tear your freaking heart out…

Cue Ron Simmons.

As Zayn’s old bestie Owens lingers a bit too long on the ramp, he goes and powerbombs Sami on the apron (I legitimately thought he shoot killed him there). He does this to a guy he was best friends with during the greatest moment of the dude’s career. That’s how you build a feud that people care about. So good.

Watch R-Evolution and tell me you don’t feel anything. While this moment was the end of the show, the entire program consisted of legitimately great storytelling and legitimately great wrestling. God bless you, Triple H, for this beautiful little place of wrestling heaven away from the cynical and confusing real world– also known as the WWE Universe.

The NXTakeover: R-Evolution = 5 (out of 5) Bibles.

WWE Table, Ladders, and Chairs Predictions for December 14th, 2014:

(Alternate titles: Survivor Series Recycled! Or how about just Killing Time!)

Hey wrestling fans, so I guess we are still doing Team Authority vs. Team Cena. Oh well, weapons may help this not suck. But there are some potentially fun matches, so let’s hope they bother to move some story lines forward.

New Day vs. Gold and Star Dust
Result: New Day’s traveling Minstrel Show (the happy, smiling, dancing black guy gimmick has to be Vince’s idea) wins cleanly. No worries, they will do this match again several hundred more times.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper (Ladder Match for IC Title)
I wont lie, I’m super excited to see what these two great athletes will do on and off the ladder. Ziggler will be bumping like a MoFo.
Result: I know Harper just won the title but the WWE hates the IC championship so Ziggler wins it. The underdog overcoming the odds works well in a Ladder Match.

Miz and Mizdow vs. the USOS (Tag Team Championship)
Best thing on WWE right now: Miz and Mizdow. They are truly the babyfaces here especially since Jimmy Uso is coming off as borderline abusive towards Naomi (i.e. controlling, jealous, and refuses to allow her to have her own career). But as much as I’d like to see them move the Mizdow story forward, I am looking forward to the new creative way that Mizdow mirrors Miz.
Result: Jimmy Uso continues his transformation into Ike Turner. He loses his temper, puts the Miz through a table which allow Mizdow to put himself through a table.

The “Performance Center” is that a way!

Ryback vs. Kane (Chairs Match)
Ryback is getting the push. Lets see if his in ring work improves. Doesn’t have to here since he just needs to swing a chair really hard. It looks like Kane has little left in the tank.
Result: Ryback wins, shell shocking Kane on a couple of chairs.
Side note: Why is he still Corporate Kane with the Authority out of power? Maybe is just prefers wrestling in dress pants.

Big Show vs. Erick Rowan (Stairs Match)
WWE really wanted their babyface big man and they really pushed Rowan into the role seemingly with little regard to his history. Anyway this will be an incredibly slow, plodding match with the upstart winning.
Result: Rowan wins as Show trips over the stairs and is unable to continue.

Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt
Could have built this feud better. You know beyond Wyatt making fun of Ambrose’s incarcerated dad and Dean breaking Wyatt’s magical rocking chair. Still, I’m looking forward to this match. Survivor Series was good and hard hitting. This SHOULD be incredibly violent and SHOULD bring down the house.
Result: Ambrose wins to even the series. They both go through a table and Ambrose barely gets the cover.

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella (Divas Title)
AJ really has looked uninspired for as long as I can remember. Her Slammy speech further makes me think she will be gone soon. I suggest that fans should watch the Charlotte/Sasha Banks match on NXT R-Evolution (12/11/14) and then watch this match. It will tell you a lot about these two drastically different shows and how they view women.
Result: Nikki wins with twin magic or some bull shit (don’t rule out the diva roll up due to a distraction from Brie). AJ goes off to fight Ronda Rousey.

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
Ran out of patriots so we circling back to Swagger. But I think Rusev is great in the ring and he (and Lana) have really gotten the most out of this tired/thin ass gimmick.
Result: Rusev wins with the Accolade. Ruzev drapes the American flag over his lifeless body and proceeds to take a giant dump on it. It could happen?!

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins (Tables Match)
The only reason this is happening is because the champ hasn’t bothered to show up. So we got a time-killer.
Result: Everything would seem to point to Cena keeping his number one contender spot in order to face Brock at Royal Rumble. How about Orton showing up and taking out Rollins allowing for Cena to AA Rollins through a table because– of course Cena is the good guy in this match.

You can catch the WWE’s TLC PPV on the WWE Network today (Sunday) for just $9.99!

Ahem.

Thing is, Telltale just gets it. They’re telling you right off the bat that they are here to tell a story. It’s in the name. What these developers time and time again bring to the table are games rife with awesomeness. Much like Bioware’s epic journeys of Mass Effect and Dragon Age, your decisions affect the outcome. And unlike Telltale’s previous ventures, this one’s got pace. It’s fast. If you fall asleep one night, the game might end. There’s no stalling. There’s also more to it than a mere spamming of the Y button, or an anti-ADD swipe of the right control stick. YOU are in control of the situation. Well, at least most of the time.

Now, if you haven’t played a Gearbox Borderlands game before… OK, I’ll be nice (*whispered voice* although I really really feel bad for you), don’t worry. The first installment of Tales From the Borderlands is a 2.5-hour episodic adventure full of laughs, outstanding voice work and incredible graphics. It’s the perfect comic book for someone who hates to fucking read. You know, read stuff in their hand. And despite how awfully easy it can be just pressing a singular button from time to time — as the majority of the game you’ll just be chillin’ and breathing in the spectacle — just watching protaganists Rhys (Troy Baker; but who else would play an employee of Hyperion?) and Fiona (Laura Bailey) snake and charm their way through the rough and tumble post-apocalyptic western backwoods of Pandora made it all worth it. Familiar Borderlands vets will embrace the familiar signature sounds and easter eggs (hello! The name of the first ep is called Zer0 Sum!); newbies will just love the shit out of mangling through every mysterious situation, and playing with all of the nifty, cybernetic tech.

These are NICE people.

The pacing takes a hint of Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction, as scenes exchange from different POV’s and all the nonlinearity eventually comes together. The ending is especially great, and the preview of Episode 2 plays like a perfect teaser you’d see on weekly episodic television. The only issues I had with the game were that there wasn’t enough to do during many of the bigger battles scenes (most of these are much longer than other Telltale games), and almost too much to do out of them. Some of the quieter moments of Tales stall. Since Borderlands and Borderlands 2 — and the Pre-Sequel, I’m guessing — were all about loot, you can bet that money is the prime reason for all this catatrophe in the first place. As Fiona, you’ll also come across your share of loot, but how important the currency you choose and use to bribe and buy weapons with (or hold onto) in the near future is anyone’s guess.

Look. Tales from the Borderlands is a game where you watch cool shit happen, fall in love with quirky characters, laugh out loud a few fucking times, and revel in the mystery of the future. If that’s not enough because you want your thumbs to get numb, then stay away. Oh, and shout-out to the host of Talking Dead and The Nerdist himself, Chris Hardwick, who does quite the bang-up job (literally) as Rhys’ accountant/funny dork sidekick, Vaughn.

4.25 Loot Chests (out of 5)

NERD – By now, gamers have either played through Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and are on to Telltale Games’ Tales from the Borderlands or were distracted by the fifty other AAA games that have come out in the past few months. There certainly aren’t going to be a lot of people lining up to get the new installment of Gearbox’s franchise at GameStop this holiday season, so why talk about this game now? Well, after you’re done creating nemeses in Mordor, running around the country of Kryat in Far Cry 4, or slaying dragons in Dragon Age: Inquisition, you’ll probably just want to have some laughs with some old friends while grinding for experience and loot in a much smaller scale and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel will be the answer for that – as long as you get it at an after-holiday sale price point.

Here’s my top four reasons why you should be looking to get Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel! on December 26th:

1) You Can Be Naughty and Nice: That small, DLC-feeling scale of The Pre-Sequel that countless reviews have gone on about actually has an upside. Sure, gone is the feeling of being on the giant planet of Pandora (you’re on the moon now, kid), exploring it Mad Max style for all the secret loot that can be found, only to eventually save that whole world. But it’s replaced with a very tight anti-hero narrative unique to the other Borderlands games that runs on the rails of the quippy, meta-humor that Anthony Burch set up in Borderlands 2 (he also helped out with the writing of The Pre-Sequel). For the first time in this dystopian space future you get to see what it’d be like to be the bad guy, and you can hear your characters say all the nasty thing you’d say to annoying NPCs that are so helpless to your rare grenade-shooting assault rifle. The villainous Handsome Jack of BL2 is quite charming at the beginning of this origin story and it’s fun witnessing his Portal-esque voice over descent into evil.

2) Be Captain America on Pandora: Two of the character types in The Pre-Sequel are alone worth the cost of admission (er, the inevitable 80% off the cost of admission that Steam, and surely Amazon, will get you). My first playthrough of the Pre-Sequel was as Athena “The Goddess”, mainly because her character is telling the story through flashbacks and I love continuity, but eventually I fell in love with her Vibranium, I mean Eridium shield. Okay it’s not made out of Eridium, but it definitely felt like I was going Steve Rogers on the Dahl Corporation every time I threw it out and it flew back to me. One perk even allows you to instantly revive players by hitting them with the shield. Athena wasn’t alone in her unique perk. One of the most hyped selling point to Borderlands fans was the ability to play as Claptrap “The Fragtrap”, who was always the most divisive, but defining character in the franchise. You either loved him or hated him; but he always embodied the anarchic, snarky comedy of the game and 2K Australia really brought that into his gameplay. His randomized perk, which randomizes an effect to cast on the team, always keeps you on your toes and can heighten a situation, or make it annoyingly desperate in a fun way.

3) Low-Gravity Sniping Will Your Breath Away: From how the story resolves in The Pre-Sequel to where it goes in Borderlands 2 makes it seem like this will be the only chance players will get to utilize the new setting-specific gameplay mechanics that 2K Australia brought to the table. Since most of your time will be either on a space station or Pandora’s moon, players will experience low-gravity throughout TPS which makes for some awesome Ender’s Game-type action movie moments. You’ll constantly find yourself making an insane jump from one cliff to the next, firing away at the baddies before you land. One of the major boss battles had me throwing shield mid-air at enemies that were leaping right at me, like I was Xena: Warrior Space Pirate. More often than not I was also leaping desperately towards oxygen bubbles. The new addition of the oxygen bar only intensifies the pace of ever battle – and is really good mechanic to really concentrate the action on an otherwise sprawling landscape.

In case you were wondering what Lebron does in the offseason.

4) Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good: …that may have sounded wrong without hearing it sung by Ray Parker, Jr. Yes, I mean that Ray Parker, Jr. – of Ghostbusters fame. Along with the return of Anthony Burch come all the nods to geek culture. This time Burch found a way to one-up his Splinter Group side mission that led you through rooms full of rats, through a sewer, to a table with a pizza on it (if you don’t get the reference by now, I don’t know why you’re on this site). The new geek-reference laden mission in The Pre-Sequel temporarily puts you in the shoes of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddmore but in space. What makes this better than a mere TMNT reference is the loot you get at the end (if you do it right). In The Pre-Sequel it’s called an E-Gun, but really – let’s just say if two of you have it equipped, you don’t want to cross the streams. As soon as I got the E-Gun, I was a Ghostbusting Captain America for the rest of the game.

It may not yet add up to the package that Borderlands 1 and 2 brought to the table, but The Pre-Sequel already has a new DLC out, and judging by how Gearbox treated the last two titles, I’m sure there will be a lot more where that came from. For now, keep an eye out during the Holiday Steam Sale or wherever you buy your videogames for this under-the-radar title.

3.75 (out of 5) Dancing Robots.

Since we still have a few weeks left in the year — and the most important gaming awards of the season have still yet to hit the masses, The Bible Awards! — the following 2015 Video Game Release Dates will change. Expect delays and plenty of pushes; but in the meantime, bask in all the future glory of our most imaginative and gaming world.

JANUARY
***20***
-Resident Evil HD Remastered (Windows PC, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Xbox 360)
-Saints Row IV: Re-Elected / Gat out of Hell (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)

***27***
-GTA V (PC)
-Dying Light (PC, PS4, XB1)

FEBRUARY
***10***
-Evolve (PC, PS4, XB1)

***17, 18***
-Dead or Alive 5: Last Round (PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)
-Resident Evil: Revelations 2 – Episode 1 (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360; Eps. 2-4 release in consequential weeks)

***20***
-The Order: 1886 (PS4)

MARCH
***17****
-Battlefield Hardline (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)

-Project CARS (PC, PS4, XB1)

***24***
-Bloodborne (PS4)

APRIL
***7***
-Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin (PC, PS4, XB1)

***14***
-Mortal Kombat X (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)

You didn’t PRE-ORDER!!???!!?

***TBA****
-Mighty No. 9 (PC, Mac, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360, PSVita, WiiU, 3DS)

MAY
***19***
-The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PC, PS4, XB1)

JUNE
***2***
-Batman: Arkham Knight (PC, PS4, XB1)

NOVEMBER
***TBA***
-Human Element (PC, PS4, XB1)

DECEMBER
***31***
-Until Dawn (PS4)

UNSCHEDULED RELEASES
-Assassin’s Creed Victory (PC, PS4, XB1)
-Battleborn (PC, PS4, XB1)
-BattleCry (PC)
-Crackdown 3 (XB1)
-Dead Island 2 (PC, PS4, XB1)
-EA Sports PGA Tour (PS4, XB1)
-Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture (PS4)
-Fable Legends (XB1)
-Final Fantasy VII (PS4)
-Godzilla: The Game (PS3, PS4)

-Gran Turismo 7 (PS4)
-Halo 5: Guardians (XB1)
-Homefront: The Revolution (PC, PS4, XB1)
-Just Cause 3 (PC, PS4, XB1)

Sure beats the 405.

-Kingdom Come: Deliverance (PC, Mac, PS4, XB1)
-Life is Strange (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)
-Mad Max (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)
-Mario Maker / Mario Party 10 / Mario vs. Donkey Kong (WiiU)
-Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PC, PS3, PS4, XB1, 360)

-No Man’s Sky (PC, PS4)
-Ori and the Blind Forest (PC, XB1, 360)
-Quantum Break (XB1)
-Ratchet & Clank (PS4)
-Rise of the Tomb Raider (XB1, 360)
-Splatoon / Star Fox (WiiU)

And, not that nutty Guardians of the Galaxy cast-off, EITHER!

-Star Wars: Battlefront (PC, PS4, XB1)
-The Elder Scrolls Online (PS4, XB1)
-The Legend of Zelda / The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (WiiU, 3DS)
-Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege (PC, PS4, XB1)
-Tom Clancy’s The Division (PC, PS4, XB1)
-Ultra Street Fighter 4 (PS4)
-Uncharted 4: A Theif’s End (PS4)

-Xenoblade Chronicles X (WiiU)
-Yoshi’s Woolly World (WiiU)

It’s ADAPTATION TIME! And we FILL IN ALL THE GAPS as the worlds of Battlestar Galactica, Army of Darkness, Shaft, Cross, Asgard, and Planet of the Apes all get the treatment of new forms.

So read on! Rush to judgement, and then rush to your nearest shop and pick up the recommended titles BELOOOOOOOOOOW! —

(clockwise from top left) Derek “Divine” Vigeant; “The Apostle” Lance Paul; “Abess” Jackie Henley; “Cardinal” Robert Bexar; “Sermonizer” Ryan Scott; “Pope” Jason Sacks

Battlestar Galactica: The Death of Apollo #1

The question I ask Dynamite is: why? The fan base for the original BG has to be minimal at best, why create a comic based around a waning fan-base? This doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate the story by Dan Abnett (Knights of Pendragon), or the illustrations by Dietrich Smith (NEXT). I did. I was just stuck in that awkward moment of never clicking with the source material and pushing myself to finish 22 pages of the comic.

The shinning light here is the storyline. Though I may have been unfamiliar with the gist of what was happening, Abnett exceptionally handles the delivery of significant developments by the end of the issue.  The slow reveal and pacing that Dan is so well known for will help deliver this story to original Galactica timeline fans.

But hey– if you’re a fan of the toaster glory of Galactica 78, you will absolutely enjoy this in-continuity comic. 3 (out of 5) Cylons agree!

– Lance Paul

SHAFT #1

Comic book companies have always had a knack for licensing random, seemingly nonsensical properties and adapting them into comics. Enter SHAFT, by Dynamite Comics. David F. Walker (Number 13), Bilquis Evely (Doc Savage), and Daniela Miwa (The Shadow) have taken on the task of bringing the famous 70’s bad mother f***er to the world of modern comics.

“He’s a baaaad motha–“

The art in the book is exactly what it probably should be and the story is loaded with lots of racial slurs, stereotypes, and, oh yeah, boxing. As one might expect. The story follows John Shaft as he tries to figure out his life following the war. Licensed properties are often surprisingly fun in the comicverse, but something feels a bit off when reading SHAFT.

Walker has done no wrong, but it is perhaps the source material itself that just doesn’t seem like it’s right for comics. Then again, perhaps this is just the result of having a nerdy white boy review a comic such as SHAFT. In any case, this may not be the best of reads on stands this week; however, the creators did include a pretty sweet playlist to go along with the book. 2.75/5 Bibles

– Ryan Scott

Army of Darkness #1 / Wolf Moon #1

THIS! IS MY BOOMSTICK!!– (or at least I wish this was said in the issue).

I had the distinct pleasure of reviewing two #1’s this week: Army of Darkness and Wolf Moon. Both of which set up, or at least try to set up, their respective stories in new and exciting ways. Also, both are written by Cullen Bunn (Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe, Sixth Gunn).

Let me begin with the comic that tried something new and tripped up — Army of Darkness. I know, it sounds blasphemous and I even read it with Bruce Campbell’s voice in my head, but the book just didn’t keep me interested. Cullen and artist Larry Watts (Grimm Fairy Tales) take Army of Darkness and Ash to where very few have been before… space. But only after spending the first few pages recapping the events of The Evil Dead and Army of Darkness. Maybe it’s the fact that comics have been edging towards a sense of realism lately (oxymoron, I know), but there are a few scenes that feel just a bit over the top for a normal human being to handle, boomstick or no.

Thankfully, the art saved the book, leaving a hint of realism in the issue.  But, throwing Ash into space seemed a bit contrived to me– almost as though the powers-that-be were just sitting around trying to think of something, anything, else to do, so Cullen just went, “Let’s do space!!” The other problem is that I didn’t feel a real connection to Ash. And I love Ash.  By the end of the book, even with the OMG moment that’s supposed to hook you for issue 2, I was left feeling “Eh.

Juxtapose that with Cullen’s other book out this week, Wolf Moon. This book takes a classic horror icon and has a lot of fun with it. The curse is no longer passed on by a bite or a scratch, but by a roaming spirit that inhabits a new body every month for 3 days. Wolf Moon‘s art is by Jeremy Haun (The Darkness) and good sweet Lord, faithful followers, it’s magnificent in this book.  The end will leave you with your mouth agape, wondering just what the hell is going on.

Both books rely heavily on inner monologue and, overall, it seems Cullen was just trying too hard in Army of Darkness, while it seemed to just flow in Wolf Moon. I will say, though, having read Cullen’s other books, he seems to have only two modes when he starts a book: either he starts off slow and builds to something much bigger, or he just jumps right out of the gate.  In these two instances, I would wait for Army of Darkness to come out in trade, but go out and get Wolf Moon. Army of Darkness: 2.5 out of 5 Boomsticks/Wolf Moon: 4.5 out of 5 Silver Bullets

– Robert Bexar

Cross + 100 #1

I don’t know what I expected from the first new comic in years by the great Alan Moore (Watchmen), but it wasn’t this brooding, slang-filled and oddly beautiful post-apocalyptic meditation with deeply detailed art by Gabriel Andrade (Lady Death).

Moore and Andrade deliver a story that takes place a century after the world that Garth Ennis created in his seminal, Crossed. It’s a post-civilization society that appears long after the zombies have taken over the earth and then started to fall away, in which the people on the planet have given way to marauding packs of wolves and other animals, and a kind of wilding has happened to humans left alive. Civilization is just a distant memory, and the small band of travelers that we meet are doing their best to keep the memory alive in some small ways.

Moore spices this adventure with some interesting touches, especially the slang that our protagonists use. It’s invented, obviously, but it’s also rich and evocative of times gone by, technology that’s half-remembered. Relationships seem complex and fluid, and death seems to be well accepted as part of life. Andrade’s meticulous art reminds me a bit of George Perez (The Avengers), with a fine-line approach to character and deep, thoughtful backgrounds that give readers a thorough view of the dark vision that this team have produced.

This is an odd Alan Moore comic, but it’s a fun comic that promises many thrills in future issue. 4/5 brains

– Jason Sack

Red-headed step-god.

Angel of Asgard #1

If there’s anything that men learn the hard way between the ages of 17-22, it’s that red-headed women are all nuts.

Angel of Asgard is no exception to this rule, and the comic starts the story in the middle of a raging (and probably hormonally-fueled) identity crisis. The art and story are both good but take a level of concentration that didn’t feel seamless or easy to read and understand at times. But the end of the story drops a bomb so big you’ll see why the “angel” of the title is definitely winning the award for craziest bitch in charge.

Overall a 3/5, and I’d be interested to read a few more of these for good character development, and maybe to just keep reinforcing that theory about crazy red-heads.

– Jackie Henley

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes #1

Do you ever watch all the movies in a trilogy and kind of wonder “I wish I could see what happened in between each one?” Me too! It seems like there’s so much great story we’re missing out on.

Well, Boom! Studios was thinking ahead and are filling in the 10 year gap between Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Written by Michael Moreci (Hoax Hunters) with art by Dan McDaid (Vandroid), we’re once again thrown into a world where humans are not in charge anymore.

McDaid’s illustrations of the apes are amazing. He uses just enough facial expressions to convey emotion on their faces while striking a perfect balance between the primitive and the evolved.  Moreci’s story is two-fold. One storyline follows Caesar and the assembly of his group to eventually become the force that will wreak havoc. The other follows human Malcolm and his family as they are escaping in the aftermath of the disastrous Simian Flu. The kicker is that it’s with his first wife who, in the events of the movie, had already passed away. Sorry Keri Russell fans!

Interesting to see some of the apes, including Maurice and Koba (and Rocket has already been mentioned), together, since we know which ones will betray Caesar down the line. But even with all of the talk of peace in the movie, Caesar is shown to be a leader that knows he must make his group stronger in order to continue on and have a lasting future. Malcolm’s storyline shows him as brave and intelligent, just trying to make things better for his family.

I really look forward to what this series has to offer. 2.75/5 bibles

– Derek Vigeant