THOR [Moody Marvel Editorial]: The ‘Goddess’ of Thunder??!!?!?

As if all of the recent Fantastic Four reboot movie news wasn’t bad enough, Marvel appeared on The View earlier today to present a Super Ultra All-New Marvel Remix Hyper NOW! era for the once and Mighty Thor.

He’s a girl. I mean, she’s a female. The character is all-woman.

Current Thor: God of Thunder scribe Jason Aaron (also the author of one of my favorite comic book series of all time, Scalped) is staying on to man the, um, woman.

“This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”

Yeah– this Thor’s got boobs.

Ye Hottie.

This side of a soft-spot for the Ol’ Canucklehead, Thor has been my all-time favorite Marvel comic book character and title since Walt Simonson’s historic run. I grew up loving Fantasy RPGs and the Thor comic was always the closest thing to it. And thanks to a pair of excellent Marvel Studios pictures on the Asgardian Avenger — and the fact that it’s now “cool” to love medieval fantasy, due to the astronomic popularity of Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones — Thor has never been more relevant and adored than now.

So why the sudden call for such an abrupt change? (I thought Thor was doing just fine with his, ahem, Hammer, thank you very much.)

Did Chris Hemsworth do something naughty on set?

Did he tank out, and Kevin Feige had to find the next best replacement, Amanda Seyfried?

Actually! Jaimie Alexander, Natalie Portman, and Seyfried for Menage a Thor? I’m in!

Best. Movie. Ever.

No, but really. I’m not quite sure whether Marvel dropped the Mjölnir on this one. Marvel is certainly powerful enough now to get anyone excited for anything. As some 6-to-7000 lucky (or more likely shower-depraved) nerds will find out in Hall H in about 10-days or so, this property owns us. They got us excited for Guardians of the Galaxy. They got us excited for Ant-Man. Hell, there’s just as much excitement going around for Doctor Fucking Strange! So why change something so consistent?

Isn’t Marvel moving towards comics that reflect the cinematic universe and vice versa? Isn’t Nick Fury Jr. black now? Hell, Agent Coulson is in nearly half of the Avengers comics. And you’re calling this a permanent change?

“The new Thor continues Marvel’s proud tradition of strong female characters like Captain Marvel, Storm, Black Widow and more. And this new Thor isn’t a temporary female substitute – she’s now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!”

I think you just pissed off a good percentage of the female population more than anything else…

“Sorry ladies, for I must depart with sincere gratitude– Conan the AVENGER awaits…”

Will today’s Giant-Sized announcement equate to more female comic book readers? I’m not exactly sure. What I do know is that GodHatesGeeks has a staff of around 30 or so, with 8 female writers. While I haven’t had the chance to ask them yet, I’m willing to bet they’d choose the O.G.G.O.T. over the new one. Most of the comic gals I know love reading male stories. It’s almost funny, but some of my favorite comics on my current pull-list go as follows: She-Hulk, Wonder Woman, Ms. Marvel, Elektra, Black Widow, Supergirl, Batwoman, Lazarus, X-Men, Caliban, Captain Marvel, Harley Quinn, Rocket Girl, Rat Queens, and more.

Is this makeover a secret way to get more MALE readers? I’m sure I’m not alone in the straight-man-reading-strong-female pick of the comics litter.

Besides, it’s not as if Thor diehards have been deprived of reading several variations of the character. Ragnarok. Red. Beta Ray Bill. Thunderstrike. Hell, even Captain America and the Man of Steel found themselves singing to Peter Gabriel. In the terrific God of Thunder ongoing there is not one but THREE Thor Odinsons — to which all three even teamed up to help defeat Gorr the God Butcher.

I might be the first one in line, but will she?

Marvel Comics’ Thor #1, written by Jason Aaron with art from Russell Dauterman, will hit Midgard this October.