So, whether you took the seemingly #winning side of Sony, remained true to constant back-peddler Microsoft, felt proud of your Wii-U (finally!) delivering superior games, or steered clear of such “next-gen” systems.. that didn’t always work on “Day One”, 2013 was a hell of a lot of fun. So, put the controller down, put the headset away, kick back, and feel free to “agree to disagree” with our resident gaming “Reverend” Joe Rivera, and yours truly, the “Monsignor” Travis Moody, as we explore one of the nuttiest years in video game history.

You can hate us now.

“Monsignor” Travis Moody: 10. Metro: Last Light (Xbox 360/PlayStation 3) – With the arrival of Next-Gen, sometimes we forget just how beautiful many of the games the previous generation systems had. Deep Silver’s Metro: Last Light, was no exception. This “European Sci-Fi Battlefield” was a terrific challenge, looked stunning, was often flat-out scary. Even all of the game’s many glitches and freezing — in the freezing temperatures, nonetheless — couldn’t keep this game off my list. What did halt this post-apocalyptic triumph from reaching a higher point, however, was the lack of a solid story DLC. In fact, the DLC was a complete disappointment. Ah, well; time for 4A to start working on the next-gen./(See more)

“Reverend” Joe Rivera: 10. Deadpool (360/PS3) – Ok, as much as I wanted this game to be great……it wasn’t. But, that didn’t mean that Wade Wilson’s long-awaited solo gaming debut was all that bad. The Merc with a Mouth was always one of my favorite Marvel anti-heroes. And just like what most reviews have said, unless you’re a die-hard Deadpool fan, you’re going to loathe this game. I mean, yes, the hack ‘n slash/shoot ‘em up gameplay is overall repetitive, and it is fucking short as hell. After vanquishing Sinister, then performing a Conan the Barbarianesque pose, I was like.. “THAT’S IT?!?!” So, the question is, why does Deadpool make it on my Top 10 list? I guess, even if the gameplay is repetitious, it still packs plenty of the over-the-top hilarity of the great Joe Kelly comic (although the game was written by Daniel Way, whose own run on ‘Pool was arguably just decent). And let’s not forget the humor. The jokes are hysterical. I mean, I nearly pissed my pants from all of Wade’s quips after slaughtering enemies. The game stays true to the comedic mercenary; and who better than voice him than the great Nolan North (don’t worry; there is more for Troy, coming up). It’s like that awesomely bad cult B-movie that you check out at midnight, where you shout random phrases, and throw stuff (hopefully not grenades and knives). So, if you expected an Arkham game with Deadpool……go eff yourself!/3.5 (out of 5) Bibles

DeadPOOL Rising.

Moody: 9. Dead Rising 3 (Xbox One) – If not exactly graphically (720 fps, bleh), Dead Rising 3 was indeed, otherwise, the game to show the true power of the Xbox One. I can bet you’ve never witnessed so many things on a video game screen before with, by hell, this much personality. Yes, the hundreds and thousands of zombies stalking the near empty streets of “Los Perdidos” are simply a thrill to kill. No worries, man; DR3‘s version of the undead don’t run, as they aren’t even aware they have a fire-blazing hatchet or police-issued gat in hand. Sorta. Kinda. Yup, scary. Good news is, you’ll have a bigger field day than Daryl Dixon chopping, sniping and steam-rolling over these things to size (over 300 weapons and combinations!). If going the serious “Walking Dead” route doesn’t sound like fun, Rising packs all the tongue-in-cheek zaniness of previous games (Afros, knight helmets, disturbed samurai elders). I even kissed a zombie to death with a fire-scorching Dragonhead…and I liked it! Had this Xbox One exclusive allowed me to play “jump in/jump out” local co-op (a.k.a. a real friend..), such as, say, Marvel Ultimate Alliance (or any of the LEGO games), DR3 could have dropped in the Top 5. Yes, not giving my roommate the option to play alongside the Monsignor in my story royally pissed me off. That, and some terrible speech animations aside, the extensive upgrade system, pulse-stopping battles, and quirky story make this zombie-slayer one of the most impressive next-gen titles at launch./4 Bibles

Joe: 9. Batman: Arkham Origins (360/PS3) – Though not exactly the strongest of the series (how’s about going back to Rocksteady, guys?), Origins‘ did feel like Arkham City all over again. Not entirely a bad thing! Hell, you know you play Arkham for the story (can’t go wrong with Christmas in Gotham), the bosses (to which many had the martial arts skills of Bruce, or higher), and of course, the voice acting (see this!). Origin stories are not easy to pull off either, but this prequel gets right to the point with a much darker tone, a taste of the more realistic Nolan-verse. The boss battles are an even greater challenge this time around, with each assassin offering their own unique fighting style. And as difficult as Deathstroke was to beat, the Rev never got frustrated; the challenge just motivated me to pwn that son-of-a-bitch! Finally, there’s the vocals. Roger Craig Smith steps in for Kevin Conroy, as the younger Batman. Though not nearly as memorable, you have to give Smith props for trying — even if you do hear a little bit of Christian Bale. Yet, despite some hefty big shoes to fill, (all right, here we go!) Troy Baker’s Joker is just phenomenal. I didn’t doubt him once, not even when fans were like “We want Mark Hamill!” Mr. Hamill will always be the Joker, but Troy nails it. Even if Baker’s Joker pays a lot of homage Hamill’s, he still puts his own little spin on the voice. Gave me chills. If he were brought back, I’m all for it./(See more)

I hope those aren’t Brooklyn Nets.

Moody: 8. *TIE* FIFA ’14 (X1/PlayStation 4) / NBA 2K14 (X1/PS4) – These are two of the most impressive sports games ever. But, before I continue, there’s a reason why such wonderful games are lower than they could be: missing options. There’s no question the majority of third-party games that ported over to next-gen were rushed, and, the consequence was several missing options. FIFA ’14, easily the most remarkable — and ultimately addictive — of the franchise, is missing a tournament option. Well, duh! That’s because EA is bringing back FIFA World Cup, just in time for the global event which takes place this summer in Rio. That means fans will have to shell out $100-120 for 2 games. Haven’t you guys heard of DLC, EA? Still, the new FIFA‘s player and crowd animations, game physics, stadium selection, and array of league play options (such as this year’s excellent Ultimate Team) is superb. 2K Sports’ new NBA game, on the other hand, is the best-looking game on next-gen. Period. Almost as impressive as the frightening facial recognition is the gameplay itself: it’s awesome. Of course, like FIFA, it’s also missing quite a few things: custom arena music, the option to control multiple teams in MyGM (which erases the previous Association mode), etc. But, you know I love this game — despite some horrendous server problems — so read more on my raves in the following link, if you insist. (4.25 Bibles/See more)

Joe: 8. LEGO Marvel Super Heroes – As a fan of the LEGO games I found this one to be the best. Playing this was like going back to my childhood and playing with my old action figures all over again, especially with the huge variety of heroes and villains to choose from — all with very different and useful abilities. What was hilarious about LEGO Marvel more than anything, perhaps, is that the open world gameplay made this feel more like Grand Theft LEGO. This is also the best Marvel co-op gamer since Ultimate Alliance. Oh, and we have North back as Deadpool and, of course, Bake as Hawkeye./(See More)

Moody: 7. INJUSTICE: Gods Among Us (360/PS3) – Let’s make this easy: if you love Mortal Kombat and you love DC Comics’ Superheroes (and you don’t exactly want to see them immersed, uh, other than the lone Scorpion DLC character, of course), then this fighter is a must buy. Injustice also contains the most captivating story mode for a fighter…ever. Fighting games aren’t supposed to have good story modes. Gee.. thanks, Injustice. Now fighting games aren’t even going to bother having a story mode, seeing how *cough* Killer Instinct *cough* they couldn’t possibly keep up… /See more)

From Metropolis With…Love?

Joe: 7. INJUSTICE: Gods Among Us (360/PS3) – No doubt, Monsignor, this was THE fighting game that we both had been waiting for (especially after the atrocity known as Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe). Each DC character has a bigger-than-life fighting style of well.. a god, whether it’s Harley Quinn’s Mallet Bomb or Batman back-flipping over the Batmobile as it smoothly runs you over. And I have to agree, this fighting game has, by far, the best story mode. I loved how this game had similarities to Superman: Red Son, where the Dark Knight leads an insurgency against the Man of Steel’s regime. Oh yeah, Baker just so happens to voice my favorite DC hero, Nightwing. Shocking!/4.25 Bibles

Moody: 6. Forza Motorsport 5 (X1) – It’s been one hell of a controversial year for video games. And has there been a more controversial game lately than Forza 5? First, the Xbox One exclusive lit up the Metacritic ratings with 9′s galore, as Turn 10 Studio’s beloved sim-racer was an instant showcase of what being next-gen was all about. Paint reflections left racers in awe, courses (albeit limited in comparison to past installments) appeared no less than magnificent, and the new X1 controller’s thumb triggers felt as real as it gets. The game zooms like the land’s finest Monte Carlo. The A.I. also builds off Forza 4‘s Drivatar system with sharper improvements in adapting your own racing personality; there’s no way onlookers could ever possibly know whether you were grinding gears against online competition or the computer. To top it all off, the “Top Gear” presentation is.. well.. top-notch. Then, what’s the issue?

Nintendo had to make our list, somehow.

Microtransactions. I’ve found that, with Forza 5, the less finicky/more patient players will be rewarded in the long-run. Actually, it’s not too long of a run that all. Complete a few sections of the lengthy career mode, and that Lambo, classic Mustang, or F1 Mclaren will be yours in no time. And having the option to design or select from a great number of car designs (i.e. Boba Fett, Miami Vice, Batmobiles) certainly adds to the game’s overall replayability. While, I do agree with regards to online racers that going against souped-up vehicles is a chore, and that the selections (especially the tracks) are bare-bones in comparison to its predecessor, Forza Motorsport 5 is still the technically most impressive game on the new consoles. Just breath./4.25 Bibles

Joe: 6. Rayman Legends (360/PS3/Wii U) – As someone who enjoyed the Rayman: Rabbids games, I knew what I was getting myself into: zany, ultimately bizarre, cartoon fun! With its entertaining co-op gameplay, it’s as if Ubisoft took the game Gauntlet and gave it an early ‘90s Nicktoons twist (“Ren & Stimpy”, “Rocko’s Modern Life”, you know, the good Nickelodeon years). The beautifully colorful graphics are mesmerizing (so far as making the current-gen version look “next”), and the game’s renditions of classic rock songs will make milk shoot out of your nose. Yes, that actually happened!/(See more)

Bet Mr. Wayne never confronted a threat like this!

Moody: 5. *TIE* Rayman Legends (360/PS3/Wii U) / Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon (Xbox Live/PSN) - Rayman Legends is the first time I ever played a Rayman game, and I’ll probably hate myself forever for that. Or, maybe not, since it appears I began the franchise with the most beautiful platformer to date (and one of the best-looking current-gen games period). In addition to an outstanding soundtrack, you can bet there was no better way to spend time with a local “co-op” pal this year, either. Speaking of firsts, I’ve never had an Xbox Live game on my “best lists” before (okay, this side of an honorable mention for last year’s “Walking Dead” from Telltales), but Blood Dragon is the game Snake Plissken diehards have been waiting for their entire life. This neon pink “future prequel” to last year’s #3 GOTY, Far Cry 3, is a blast. And much like Reverend favorite SR4, Blood Dragon takes you back to ironic John Carpenter sci-fi/horror, in addition to being the most industry-conscious (revel in the Nintendo “cheese” of it all!) and funniest game of the year, too. (See link above/4.25 Bibles)

Joe: 5. The Last of Us (PS3) – What’s this? We actually have a PlayStation exclusive title on this list? Yes, believe it or not. Not only did your favorite Reverend play through the critically acclaimed survival horror game known as The Last of Us, I also got to playtest the game at Naughty Dog Studios months before its launch. This is absolutely the best storyline I’ve experienced from the survival horror genre. You play as Joel (voiced, obviously, by Troy Baker), a survivor in the worldwide infectious outbreak, as you team up with a young girl named Ellie, who is believed to have the immune system that may be the cure. For a shooter, there is a ton of strategy required in Last of Us too, as you must go stealth to take down the Infected (or hostile survivors), not to mention that any new situation you approach, your enemies will react differently. I also spent a great deal of time on the multiplayer portion, as well, where my teammates and I would work together on raiding supplies from the other team while trying to survive. No respawns here./4.5 Bibles

Hike, anyone?

Moody: 4. Tomb Raider (360/PS3) – Here’s one game Troy wasn’t in! And that’s because our newest Lara, Camilla Luddington, added precious levity as the female answer to Mr. Baker. Had the finale boss battle been a tad longer — and required more than the click of a joystick — the new TR could have easily jumped another spot on my list. Still, Lara Craft Redux is easily the franchise’s most exciting iteration yet, with open world possibilities, tricky but never frustrating puzzles, and more intensity than an internship with Michael Bay. Though not everything about this new TR was perfect (i.e. it was fairly easy to take down the countless number of enemies, too many QTE moments, etc.), it’s still belongs in the must play category. And if you haven’t, no worries: the “Definitive Edition” is coming soon to next-gen./See more)

Joe: 4. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag (360/Ps3) – I, for sure, thought that AC3 was going to be it for the series. Desmond dies (spoilers, fuck it), which was a nice little ending. Oh wait….there’s another one?!? And its taking us into the Golden Age of Piracy? Pirates are rogues themselves, so who better to become the assassins, anyway? By Hook or crook, the latest AC worked in spades. It was nice to see an assassin who didn’t have a specific allegiance, but more of the good/neutral, and side missions that were just as superior to the actual campaign. The story was also thankfully light-hearted this time around, with supporting characters like Blackbeard and Bartholomew Roberts who had much greater — and super fun — developed personalities. Just about everything in Black Flag was more likeable than previous installments, actually./4.6 Bibles

No worries, mate; surely no one’ll notice the only pirate in a white hood!

Moody: 3. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag (X1/PS4) – You harpoon-scarred the shit out of that choice, Rev. Do you think this “surprise” hit of the year was to blame for Ubisoft’s postponing of Watch_Dogs? I’d like to think so. Black Flag simply went from “yet another Assassin’s Creed game” to open world discovery of the high seas — full of satisfying naval battles, improved combat, whale hunting, and deep-sea treasure hunting. This gem, my friends, had it all, including a kick-ass companion app for your tablet/smartphones. And, look, I’m not going to lie: AC4 does get bogged down within its own non-Animus ambition (exploring as Edward Kenway was far more exciting than lurking around and hacking into corporate office computers), but the high-water/island scenery was tremendous, especially for a port! If you didn’t care too much for last year’s game, don’t sleep on the beach with this one. (See more).

Joe: 3. Bioshock Infinite (360/PS3) – I was skeptical, at first, when I found out that Bioshock Infinite was not going to be a survival horror like its predecessors. Hell, it’s even questioned if Infinite even takes place in the same universe as Bioshock 1 and 2. The game sets in a utopia in the sky called, Columbia, and touches on many controversial issues such as American exceptionalism, the Boxer Rebellion, and racial segregation; certain stuff you don’t find in many games. And, with its new direction of steampunk elements and new-found Vigor powers, B.I. blew me away with the most mind-fucking story this gaming Rev have ever experienced. “So, Booker kills Comstock…..Oh wait, Booker IS Comstock?!……I’m so confused!” Another one for Troy — ping!/4.75 Bibles

Moody: 2. Bioshock Infinite (360/PS3) – Oh, yes, Joe. Bioshock Three indeed took “my breath awayyy…” Although Irrational Games made the more rational decision to go FPS on that ass (as opposed to the more survival/thriller-tinged vibes of the original class like you mentioned), that move made B.I. a shooting experience like none other. It certainly helped to have those insanely addictive Vigors, more outstanding voice work (ha — it’s Baker DeWitt!), and that damn astonishing ‘floating world’ to explore. Infinite also felt both old and new at the same time, never giving us more than a minute or two to breath in the clouds. Oh, Elizabeth.. isn’t she lovely? (And she helps, too!)/4.75 Bibles

And the Award for “ONLY Voice Actor of 2013″ goes to…

Joe: 2. Saints Row IV (360/PS3) – Many people would call me crazy for putting this one at #2, but, screw those people; they clearly don’t know about the Rev’s passion for Saints Row. Go read my full review, too, if you haven’t. What more can be said, though, about an urban warfare-turned-alien invasion, where your protagonist goes from low-level street punk to the Motherfucking President of the United States? Murder, mayhem, superpowers, dubstep guns, Roddy Piper, and sing-a-longs to Paula Abdul and Biz Markie…that’s what. Oh yeah, and just added recently to SR4 was a DLC where Christmas required saving from an evil Santa Claus, all the while trying to get on the “Nice” list. This is how you make a Baker’s (Half) Dozen, bitches./4.8 Bibles

Moody: 1. Grand Theft Auto V (360/PS3) – With apologies — maybe severe apologies — to The Last of Us (I don’t own a PS3, sorry folks), this was the best video game of 2013. In fact, it might just be the best video game I’ve ever played. After all, I did honor GTA V a holier than hell 10 Bibles. Why? Oh, you weren’t one of the countless number of people responsible for making this game the fastest-selling of all time? A billion-plus later, the open world of Los Santos (yet another Southern Cal sandbox title) offered almost too much to do. You don’t need to follow the narrative — which is one of the most entertaining and cinematic ever, by the way — to enjoy this game. With Grand Theft Auto 5, you can do anything. Even with a few online issues and all (questionable servers, abundant assholes), awesome side missions, far more improved and even nastier shoot-outs, and glorious vehicle selection and customizations (GTA V could also be considered one of the best racing games of the year, too), this is absolutely the game dreams are made of./10 Bibles

Ahhh… So, this is what they mean by “Skyrim”.

Honorable Mention:

-DmC: Devil May Cry (360/PS3) – I’m willing to bet a lot of gaming “experts” forgot this early year gem, but I didn’t. The reimagined DmC offered some of the finest, most fluid combat, blue-electric level environments, and some of the toughest boss battles ever. In any other year, DmC slides high up the Top 10. (See more)

-WWE 2K14 (360/PS4) – It sort of pains me to include this on the list because of 2K’s bullshit programming that allowed the corruption of my entire game save (all of my creations, Universe progression, DLC, etc. was lost with the click of a button). But, there’s no doubt 2K’s publishing also boosted the franchise in glorious ways. This wrassler also had the deepest roster of all time (including 100 Create-A-Wrestlers), had an amazing story mode (“30 Years of Wrestlemania”), and was no doubt an addictive royal rumble with your pals. WWE on next-gen can’t come soon enough (See more)

-Batman: Arkham Origins (360/PS3) – While the game didn’t quite live up to its lofty expectations, it was still visually impressive and packed tougher battles than any Arkham game previous. Even in the absence of legendary Bat-voice-actors Conroy & Hamill, I’ve got to agree with Joe: the younger voice team gets the job done. (See more)

-Splinter Cell: Blacklist (360/PS3) – Missed this one? Then click the link, kids. (See more)

-Call of Duty: Ghosts (X1/PS4) – You know what you’re getting with any COD, and this game was an obvious port. Still, if you’re in the minority of players like me who are in it for the campaign, then you’re going to have a hell of a lot of fun: choppers, tanks, deep-sea diving, snow wars, and even playing as a dog! In addition to the “greatest hits” story, the new Extinction mode is the franchise’s first foray into sci-fi — and it’s an exciting challenge all the way./3.5 Bibles

Taking the day off from work was NOT a bright idea.

Joe: 1. Grand Theft Auto V (360/PS3) – No surprise here, Moody. If our gaming church gatherers haven’t already, our GTA V podcast — live from the rooftop of Los Santos, btw — is damn-near required. GTA V was yet another game where I feel, “What more can be said?” Hell, this is the Pulp Fiction of video games. It’s also a social satire of how superficial our society has become. The plot has intertwining stories, with characters (including supporting) that are arguably the most well-developed of any game in recent memory; so much so, that even if you found these fuckers to be crazy, pretentious, or even seriously dead wrong, you’d still find something to like about ‘em. What separates GTA V from other sandbox games is that it also plays like a heist film where you are the director taking the story into, often several, different directions. The game does a bang-up job at capturing every known scenic spot of Los Angeles this side of Saddle Ranch, and turns them into its own world to create Los Santos. Although I mentioned this in the podcast, that if you live or have lived in LA, you’re definitely going to look at this game a lot differently than those who never experienced this grand city./5 Bibles

Honorable Mention:

-Killer Instinct (X1) – The reason that Killer Instinct didn’t make it on the list was for two reasons: 1. I felt cheated when they offered only ONE character, and you had to purchase the rest.  2. The game seemed incomplete and rushed, with only six characters and waiting two months for a story mode, and pretty much making us pay for a demo, without calling it a demo.  The gameplay was pretty damn good, but I felt that I didn’t get the entire game, above all./(See more)

-Nothing else. While 2013 was perfectly strong at the top (primarily with thanks to TB), I honestly didn’t care for too much else out there… Uh, time for a new system? You’re not kidding!

From GodHatesGeeks, we’d like to thank you for checking our Top 10 lists and wishing you all a very Happy and great New Year of (hopefully next-gen) gaming, friends!

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For your Reverend, his intense passion for Fighters began in ’94 with the arrival of Killer Instinct. Up until then, Super Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat II owned the hands and eyes of every virtuous gaming fighter (because seemingly everything — but relationships — comes great in two’s); yet, it wasn’t until that summer where gamers were introduced to the next level of fighting games, not to mention one with the Nintendo logo slapped on it.

Needed a new CD for the whip. I swear.

At 13, a young Rev pushed his way through the crowd to check this shit out. I was stunned, as K.I. was the first fighting arcade to use sleek Silicon Graphics, compliments of Rareware, which were pretty cutting edge graphics at the time. I was in awe, watching a hot chick in a skin-tight green outfit, wielding twin laser swords, duking it out with what looked like a skeleton pirate, executing these insanely linked-together 34-hit combos, and hearing this loud voice in the background yell “C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!” or “ULTRA COMBOOOOOOO!!!!” I popped my quarters (pretty sure it took two), and just played the shit out it until those pockets were empty, forever having a tough time believing that Nintendo was the publisher for something so violently amazing. Come the following year, the Super Nintendo version was released. I remember rushing to the nearest electronics retailer, and spending $75 of my birthday money.

Yeah, I shit you not; games cost way more back then. Much like MK or SFII, limitless hours went by inflicting combo damage against friends. We were introduced to a sequel a couple of years later, which eventually made its way to the Nintendo 64 with a Gold edition, but after that, Killer Instinct became long forgotten…

Until now.

Jago: Unchained.

Earlier this year, Microsoft announced that KI would be making a comeback as an exclusive launch title for the Xbox One, with Double Helix as developer. Imagine the shock! All of those old memories from my early scrawny teen years of pwning the most thuggish and ruggish-looking broheems at the arcade came back to life. My first taste of the soon-to-be X1 title was at this past San Diego Comic-Con, playing yet another brute: Monsignor Moody. We were able to rumble for a couple of rounds at the event, using the two fighters they made available, Jago (KI‘s “Ryu,” if you will) and Sabrewulf.

Our first taste of the next-gen console was no less than a chaotic rush of high number combos — and “combo breakers” (escaping a string of combos via the Light Punch+Light Kick, Medium P+MK, or High P+HK buttons, pending your opponents’ strength of their combination). I owned him, of course.

Now that the new systems have launched, it was time to play for real. The game was advertised as a free download for X1, but this version of Killer Instinct appeared no more like a fucking demo. There’s only one character, which forces all interested parties to either buy the other characters a la carte (i.e. the dreaded “microtransaction”), or through a pair of package deals. Great. And, here’s where they get you: you have the option of either the “Combo Breaker Pack” for $19.99 or the “Ultra Edition” for $39.99. Of course I went for the Ultra Edition, since it offers all the characters available, plus some extra add-ons including costumes and accessories (though you still have to unlock the majority of them through KP points you earn through #winning).

You mean she hasn’t fought/made out with Spider-Man yet? Shocking.

Thus, KI offers the six unique characters, including the originals, Jago, Orchid, Sabrewulf, Thunder, Glacius, and one new addition in web-based aerialist, Sadira. While my first reaction was “That’s it?!?,” it turns out that two more of the originals, Spinal and Fulgore, will be released in January and March, respectively. Still feeling let down? Tell me about it…

Thankfully, my fellow Instincters (beats calling you The Killers, or KI Jelly’s), the next-gen graphics and emphatic gameplay, especially, should be enough to keep most die-hard fighters impressed, if not invested. The interlocking combo system is a lot easier to execute this time around (and you can train in the impressive and intensive training session mode named Dojo, if you’d like), as the moves are easy to pick, pretty quick. Hell, even the aforementioned Combo Breakers — which is all about right timing just as your opponent is laying combo hits on you — are easier to execute, even more so than in the classic arcade.

A nice addition to the new K.I. is the Counter Breaker. It’s a method where if your opponent breaks your combo streak, you are able to counter that Combo Breaker…and make that person look like a bitch. Or, you can lose half your own energy and look twice the bitch.

The only fighting game character to be named after a failed wrestling program.

The graphics, particularly for a launch title, are pretty sweet. Running at 60 fps, K.I.‘s character and background designs pack plenty of detail. Orchid and Sabrewulf are also given a nice updated design to their classic counterparts, while Jago, unfortunately, looks less of the ninja he was remembered and more of an ancient Spartan. And, is it just me, or does Thunder look like a roided-out version of Johnny Depp’s Tonto? What up wit dat?

The latest Xbox controller is definitely an improvement than the 360′s. It’s much lighter, smoother, and you don’t have that huge distracting battery pack in the center. A good change, especially for a fighting game. So, there was your Rev destroying Moody, countless times… Okay, fine. The boss beat me once, and it was quite the epic fight. I busted out the Flick Flack moves with Orchid, and he used his preferred choice Sabrewulf (probably because he looks like an “ultra” combo of the X-Men’s Beast and The Hobbit‘s Beorn, the transformation grizzly-man). Back and forth, we were landing insane combos and constant breakers. Even when both of our health bars were low, neither character would go down. Finally, Moody came back and beat me that one time.

He’s getting better.

Moody, at the sight of a depleted craft service table.

Look, as exhilarating of a game Killer Instinct is to play, it’s hard not to feel cheated when you don’t receive the complete game all at once. There are too few characters, and it’s not the kind of game you would want to play by yourself. With one player, you can battle other foes in Survival Mode, which is a sure-shot challenge, but that’s it. There’s no Arcade Mode, and the Campaign Story Mode won’t be released until March. I know, I know it’s a fighting game. Who cares about Story Mode? Back in the 90s, perhaps, this Rev wouldn’t. Yet, after getting used to exciting, well-scripted Story Modes in the recent Mortal Kombat and Injustice: Gods Among Us, it’s a near preference.

Buyers of the Ultra Edition will also receive the Classic Version, which took us forever to actually play because it was damn near impossible to find. You can bet there were plenty of forums also having the same issue. No one should ever have to Google something apparently so cut and dry!

The bottom line is, the latest entry into the Killer Instinct lore has incredibly addictive gameplay with its robust mechanics system, intensely updated graphics, and a fantastic soundtrack. If you excuse the beta limitations (having to earn points to buy multiplayer stages and more character colors) and don’t mind busting up online opponents (lag free) or the CPU (even at only six initial characters), then let your combos never break and your memories to never shake…at least until after next spring.

3.5 (out of 5) Bibles.

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GTA V will never look better.

(For you PlayStation buffs out there, we will soon have our PS4 system and game reviews/outlooks in the coming week, courtesy of our Cardinal, among others.)

“Reverend” Joe Rivera: Moody, after dicing up enemy soldiers 300-(albeit, QTE)-style in Ryse: Son of Rome, and of course, owning your ass at the new, reimagined Killer Instinct, there is no doubt that I am excited for the next-gen console. I just can’t believe it’s almost Nov. 22nd. I mean, it feels like only yesterday that we were streaming the unveiling while trying to conceal nerd boners! Haha!

What game are you planning on picking up as to pop the cherry on your Xbox One? Me, I cannot wait to play Dead Rising 3. I was a huge fan of the series, especially playing as Frank West slaughtering zombies with all sorts of makeshift weapons. It’ll be nice to see the latest Capcom title take it to the next level.

“Monsignor” Travis Moody: As far as Microsoft exclusives go, yes, Joe, Dead Rising 3 is without a doubt the sure-shot. That game looks so good (and has garnered some pretty solid reviews this morning, unlike any exclusives from PS4), that it might just be the Deal One deal breaker for a lot of folks. I’m right there with you.

As for just any game in general, I’d have to say it’s a tie between Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag and NBA 2K14. Now, sure, 2K has been on the rack (so to speak) for a good couple months on current-gen, but I purposely stopped playing my 360 press copy just so the X1 version would feel all the more exciting. Those graphics, as you’ll see just below, are to die for.

And, so far, the game is getting much higher marks than the latest Madden transition. AC4, on the other hand, I just did not want to play (or beat) twice, and if I’m going to venture into the vast, wonderful open seas, I’d rather do it on the more beautiful console. And, it’s a lengthy game, so I’m sure I’ll get my money’s worth diving into Ubisoft’s enchanted world. Both of those games, along with Need For Speed: Rivals, appear to be getting the best reviews of the 3rd party upgrade bunch. Joe, are you afraid we’re going to alienate any PlayStation peeps out there with this piece?

Joe: As if all your PS4 “failure” shares on Facebook weren’t enough! Honestly, as far as the Microsoft vs. Sony Console Wars go (see the latest episode of “South Park”!), it’s all about preference. I always preferred Xbox because I liked their variety of games as opposed to PlayStation. If I could afford both, I’d get both! The mixed reviews don’t bother me, if I was a PS fan I’d still get it. Back when the 360 launched, we all experienced the dreaded “Red Ring of Death.” Did that make us not want to continue playing it — not this Reverend! I’m just glad that Kingdom Hearts 3 will finally be available for Xbox, after a fucking decade. (Father McPhail and I should definitely go X1vPS4 KH3 Face-Off in this bitch come release!)

Well, I know that’s it’s no question that you’re stoked for launch. We can’t shut up about it. It’s just so weird that the Xbox 360 will soon become a memory, but more-so, a favorite pastime. So, with that being said……what are some of your favorite games/moments from the 2nd gen? I pray it’s time to feel nostalgic!

Brings new meaning to the term “freeze frame.”

Moody: WWE 2K14, for literally ending my career with current gen. Say…what? The wrestling game you’ve been raving and ranting about for months? The one you blessed with a 4-Bible review and revered with a follow-up podcast? Well, hey man, my entire TWO WEEKS of Universe preparation – not to mention my “30 Years of Wrestlemania” victory went through the tube today, when the developer’s notorious “corrupt file” scenario returned to the squared-circle. You’d think after several of these games that Yukes would have done something about it by now. How archaic. Maybe if someone develops a hack, I will return to it…returning out of retirement “Nature Boy” Ric Flair style. But, otherwise, it’s been a pleasure, current gen. Let’s hope the Xbox One isn’t marred with as many bugs, glitches and demoralizing game save corruption as the 360. Whooooooooo!!!!!

Jose: Geesh, man! I’m sorry about that. I know how much the new WWE 2K meant to you. I hope you didn’t smash your 360 over your roommates head or try to smash the game with a chair. You know, I remember having a problem with Batman: Arkham City when it first launched, two years back. I remember installing the game and then getting some bug online which took me straight to Xbox Live Dashboard. Several people got this same bug, so I couldn’t even play it for the first week. So frustrating! Damn you, WB!!!!

Glitches, fear not! For the great Skyrim would never leave thee in the cold.

Moody: Here’s to hoping this brand new technology will fix a lot of the hardware and software issues that have literally plagued this system’s 8-year existence. Thing is, there’s just been no better system as far as games…ever. Speaking of Arkham City, you can add that game to my top 10, alongside Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (since both games came out the same year). Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was far too lengthy and long for my tastes (which to some, was a godsend), but Skyrim gave you the option of beating the primary story in 20-hours (a nice length), or going on for infinity to build colonials and start as many crusades as you can possibly imagine. What both 2011 Game of the Year’s had in common, too, were an assortment of bugs and glitches. But, couldn’t that be said about just about any other great Xbox 360 title? One series that I didn’t notice too many frustrating conundrums swirling the release was The Mass Effect trilogy, which easily stands out to me as the greatest trilogy of all time…and I can only be half as lucky if something akin comes to the One. How about you?

Joe: Yeah, The Mass Effect games were an amazing achievement in video games. Bioware — the guys notorious for the best Star Wars RPG franchise — really blew me away with Mass Effect, one of the most epic storylines in gaming. As far as my best memories with the 360, I would say three game franchises: Rock Band, Soul Calibur IV, and Bioshock. I got to feel like a Rock Star…in my living room, fight my friends with Yoda and Starkiller, and have the piss scared out of me as Splicers jumped out of nowhere, with the lights off.

I got friends in HIGH places.

Moody: Rock Band. Now, how come that doesn’t surprise me? Ha, just giving you shit. The whole Guitar Hero/Rock Band saga definitely amped (pun, superintended) up the interactivity with video games, leading to motion controllers and Wii’s and all that stuff. Rock Band itself was the highest rated of the bunch, and selling just as well to make it a star in Xbox 360’s lengthy history. The Mass Effect trilogy changed the way I looked at video games, such as.. I better not fuck up this decision or 4-years from now I will regret it! I absolutely had no problem with the 20-30-minute ending of M.E. 3, actually liking it, despite the fact I went “Renegade” for just about the entire series. Sure, it should have had some variety (like the much maligned DLC package attempted to excuse), but you surely weren’t catching me writing a letter to Obama about it. Mass Effect 2 definitely stands out of the bunch, in terms of meshing the RPG elements with the FPS satisfaction of a COD or GOW.

Speaking of, the Gears of War trilogy makes the 3rd spot on my list (and 2nd best all time trilogy), as this trio of shooters will go down as the greatest LOCAL co-op experiences ever. Sure, with Halo you could split-screen some aliens for plenty of hours at a time, but how truly close were you to the action with co-op Gears? It’s almost as if nothing changed except how fucking great the teamwork was. With arguably the 360’s greatest looking game at 2006 – as the debut was also the second highest rated that year — one could lead the rush with Marcus Fenix, while a lazy sack like me was able to snipe some Locust as the other COG’s, Dom, Baird, and Cole. I can only hope E-Day continues on next-gen.

So long as it isn’t “Judgment,” we should be OK!

Joe: Damn straight, I was all about Rock Band! It was one of those games where I got a lot of my casual and non-gamer friends really into gaming. You have no idea how many parties I had that involved Rock Band, and how much money I spent on songs for The Beatles: Rock Band, alone.  But unfortunately, it was one of those franchises that had a short run.  A good run, but short.

Moody: Why do you think that is?

Joe: Good question, lol.

Moody: That’s my job.

Joe: Fine, Moody. As fun as the Rock Band games were, and as I mentioned, great for parties, it was just more of a fad.  Even if Rock Band 3 let you play at Pro level, with a six string, and also a keyboard, by then I think we all just got bored with the gameplay by that point. And I think people got tired of buying new instruments, and separate games with different songs, when clearly they could have just been put in the Rock Band Network for download. So yeah, spending too much money was an issue — at least for me. But, it’s still fun pastime, and when friends and I are up for rocking out, we go back into Overdrive.

Moody: Shifting gears here… *throws up devil horns*

Heath Slater would be proud! #3MB

Joe: Ah yes, Gears of War — definitely one of the best co-op series I’ve ever played on 360.  I’ve always preferred third-person view, maybe just because I prefer to see the actual character I’m controlling. And, who could forget the awesomeness of the chainsaw bayonet. It got messy when ripping through locusts, but got the job done.

Moody: Don’t kill me, but I’ve never played the original (or the hearsay sub-par sequel) Bioshock.

Joe: You’re fired! When I first played Bioshock, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The game’s cover just looked ridiculous. However, a close friend told me “No, you have to play Bioshock!” I responded, “Okay, why?” My friend’s response: “You’re a big horror game fan, right? (in which, I nodded) You’re gonna love it!”  So, I played it one late night and after the first hour, I will seriously never judge a book by its cover.  Not only did enjoy it, but it scared the bejeezus out of me.  The entire time, as I was navigating through the game, I was trying to stay on my guard. Those damn Splicers are not only creepy as hell, but they jump out of fucking nowhere. Couldn’t tell you how many times my heart jumped. It’s funny, I thought I was going to be disappointed when Infinite was released, due to the fact that there was no more horror element, but hey the steampunk-driven style made it still an amazing game. Hell, the ending to Infinite still fucks with my head; still couldn’t explain it.

Moody: Speaking of getting fired, at least that’s what we have from The Christian to be thankful for.

The things you see in San Francisco.

Joe: Ha! Another game series which blew me away and still is, has to be the Assassin’s Creed series. Looking back 6-years ago, my first introduction to AC was at San Diego Comic-Con 2007 when Ubisoft was promoting the shit out of this game. The Rev didn’t get to play any demos, but just saw trailers, banners, and actors for hire dressed as Altair. It was yet another game in which I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Honestly, it just looked like some epic historical game. So glad I gave it a chance. Playing as a guy who’s reliving his ancestor’s life through DNA memories, in a machine called an Animus? Let’s take our hats off — or white hoods (wait, that sounds so bad!) — to Ubi for the originality. Can’t think of too many other games where I spent countless hours trying to get 100%, just to get the damn secret ending where we see references to the Illuminati. Warped, man….warped!

Moody: The original Assassin’s Creed was surely great for its time, but ultimately redundant. Part II was definitely the highlight of the series, although I am a huge fan of AC3 (didn’t witness any bugs) and have yet to play Black Flag (again, holding off for next-gen). Bioshock Infinite, though — despite coming out just this past year — is one of my favorite 360 titles ever. Loved exercising the greatness of my Vigor magic, skyhooking through an all-too wondrous world of Columbia in search of milk, honey, and Elizabeth. Awesome story, great FPS gameplay, creepy songbirds and accordion driven score, and the talents of Troy “Booker” Baker. Isn’t it funny, how all the craze this year was Xbox One, yet there was still a handful of gems from the current-gen. Rayman Legends was sure-as-shit fun, maybe the best platformer I played since anything Mario. And, yet as awesome as Ubisoft’s impact to the system was, how do we have this conversation without mentioning Rockstar Games…

You know what they say: any good Jets fan is a…

Joe: I think it’s because GHG has already said so much about GTA, and I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely overwhelmed (in a good way) from Grand Theft Auto V — definitely one of the best games of 2013, if not THE BEST!

Moody: Yeah, Rockstar also made a few tiny little ventures you made have heard of called Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto IV. But, while I wasn’t so big on GTA 4 like our very own Deacon E, I do share his and your praise for GTA V — the single best game for this system ever, and the only thing I’ve EVER reviewed to garner 10 Bibles. It’s so addicting, I forced myself into retirement at 70% in fear I’d never get any work done for GHG. If that’s not impact…

Joe: Valve made impact and became one of my favorite developers. Half Life was a great sci-fi FPS, where most of the time you’ll forgive the gun for cracking skulls with a crow bar. You da man, Gordon Freeman. And a game like Portal 2 let me branch out of what I’m normally used to (slaughtering aliens and zombies), and lead me to use what little of my brain is now left for trying to escape rooms with mind-numbing physics, particularly the greatest invention of all: the motherfucking Portal Gun.

Speaking of puzzle games, you probably never heard of the survival horror/puzzle/social simulation/anime game (talk about genre’s), Catherine, starring our buddy Baker as the protagonist, Vincent Brooks. It’s not like any game you’ve ever played; it’s hard as fuck, but fucks with you head. Very much a David Lynch story. You’re not trying to save the world, mostly determine Vince’s love life: marry his gf of 5-years, or get with the hot slutty looking succubus? I know it sounds weird, but play it sometime, Moody, it’ll definitely fuck your head.

Life was a little more fun without Master Chief.

Moody: I would, as I love me some Lynch, but something tells me I’ll have my handful with next-gen. Maybe if they remake it. I’ll admit I didn’t play much of The Orange Box, or another greatly revered title like Fallout 3. Those years were crazy for me, as most of my days I traded in my gamepad for MMA gloves (other than sports titles like Madden or MLB). This leads me to three sports game that scored more than any other and that’s NHL ’12, FIFA 12/13 and NBA 2K13. Those games were arguably both EA and 2K Sports finest moments. I don’t think I’ll ever play a game as much as I did with 2K13 (I played a full 82-game season with the Golden State Warriors, and when I LOST in the NBA Playoffs to the LA Clippers in 7 games — and practically down to the last few minutes — took over that team to win the title, in, yes, 7 games).

I also can’t forget how awesome the Forza Motorsport series has been. Of course, no Microsoft system can be reflected upon without the mention of Halo, although the best games in the series were previously released on the original Xbox. Halo Reach was definitely my favorite, as it only took the Deacon E and myself no more than 8 measly hours to finish the campaign on Halo 4…after — what — Halo: Combat Evolved took 20, 30? Ridiculous.

Joe: Yeah, the original Halo was soooooo goddamn long. Lost a lot of sleep because of it. I agree with you on Halo: Reach, probably has the multiplayer modes in that entire series. But, we will never mention the atrocity of ODST. Because everyone wants to play some useless rookie, as opposed to a badass Spartan, am I right? One last thing, Moody, since you mentioned Forza, I do miss the Burnout series, nothing was more fun than crashing cars, takedowns, and of course launching your car into traffic and trying to create chaos. Yes, the Reverend loves CHAOS! Please bring Burnout back to next-gen.

Well Moody, it’s been fun reminiscing the old days of 360 with you. God, I’m making it sound as if we played these games 20-years ago! The Xbox 360 brought me so much joy during my post college years. I feel like I’ve grown up a bit. Time to move to the next generation of gaming. 360, it’s been fun. Godspeed, friends, as we’ll be sure to see some of you Friday at midnight!

And, here, you thought they meant kids who skipped class.

“Monsignor” Travis Moody’s Best Twelve* Xbox 360 Games Ever
*Forza Motorsport 3
12. Left 4 Dead
11. Halo: Reach
10. NHL 12
9. Borderlands 2
8. Far Cry 3
7. Bioshock Infinite
6. Batman: Arkham City
5. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
4. NBA 2K13
3. Gears of War Trilogy
2. Grand Theft Auto V
1. Mass Effect Trilogy

“Reverend” Joe Rivera’s Best Twelve* Xbox 360 Games Ever
*Burnout: Revenge
12. Left 4 Dead
11. Batman: Arkham Asylum
10. Soul Calibur IV
9. Rock Band 3
8. Mortal Kombat
7. Fable 2
6. GTA 5
5. Catherine
4. Saints Row: The Third & IV
3. Bioshock/Bioshock Infinite (Bioshock 2 didn’t do it for me)
2. Assassin’s Creed II
1. Batman: Arkham City

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“The Reverend” Joe Rivera: Now, for those who aren’t familiar with the web series in the first place, here goes. MKL initially began as a 2010 short film titled, Mortal Kombat: Rebirth, directed by Kevin Tancharoen (also bro-in-law to Joss Whedon). The short film starred the former Spawn as Michael Jai White as Jax, Jeri Ryan as Sonya Blade, and Ian Anthony Dale as Hanzo Hasashi a.k.a. Scorpion. Rebirth was originally a pitch to WB, in hopes of earning a bigger budget film reboot. Tancharoen was aiming for a grittier Kombat — of course not going to stray away from the video game franchise’s infamous gory violence. And yet despite the short film exploding all over the internet with extremely high remarks from fans, WB declined to back it (but they’ll greenlight 300: Rise of an Empire? *chokes*).

Absolutely babality-bummer!

It was definitely what Mortal Kombat should have been. Instead, Tancharoen was given the green-light to direct the MK Legacy web series, which was released back in 2011. Legacy hit the freeway furiously, opting for more focus on realism and character backstory. Things did get a bit confusing, however, when realism were later abandoned for more supernatural elements. Although it turned out more or less fine, I would’ve rather had them “pick one!” Whew. So, here we are two years later with a new Season, and even if this does continue the story, it appears we have more of a reboot, as well…

“The Abbot” Ray Getsbusy: “Confusing” is a great way to put it. Yes, Season 2 of MK Legacy feels very much like a reboot with a somewhat new cast of characters and some new backstories. “You’re messing up my origin!” I honestly had a tough time connecting some of the dots between S1 and S2. Given that it has been 2-years, it’s safe to say I should’ve rewatched S1. Initial impressions? Where’s the funding for a full blown series? Granted what Machinima is doing with this — on what seems to be a  really minimal budget — is outstanding. Like I said before, the CGI on this is trumping some network shows *cough*agentsofshield*cough*. Thankfully, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa is back as the soul-stealing Shang Tsung. He brings that great spark of evil to a character that’s.. what.. over 1000-years old? Even so, some of the new additions and casting choices were questionable, such as Mark Dacascos as Kung Lao and David Lee McInnis as Rayden. If anything, they should have been swapped.

Joe: Haha! Yeah, gotta say the visual effects in MK Legacy were pretty damn amazing for a web series. I guess waiting two years paid off, especially with a whole new creative development team. I’ll also agree that it was awesome to see Tagawa back as Shang Tsung. I mean, he is Shang Tsang! No other actor could make me cringe with the line, “Flawless Victory.” I also remember bringing up the casting of Rayden and Kung Lao. Nothing to do with either performances, even if Mark Dacascos is hit or miss. The good acting is ruined because they’re both playing the wrong character. It just seemed as if Dacascos’ Kung Lao was too much of the mentor type to Liu Kang. Delving into the MK mythology, Kung Lao was always the big brother type to Liu Kang; but this time, he seemed more like a father figure. That’s Rayden!

This leads me to Liu Kang (Brian Tee, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift), who comes off more of a darkly violent vigilante. His story: Kang leaves the Shaolin Temple, falls in love with an American girl, she gets murdered by robbers, and he goes on this vigilant killing spree. I don’t mind the concept, but even The RZA would have to agree this scenario does’t fit with the Liu Kang we all know. Sure, he does become vengeful in the game, but always with that sense of honor. And, is it just me, or did Liu Kang look more like Jin Kazama from Tekken. Blame it on the Hood. Although, it was pretty funny that Tagawa also portrayed Heihachi Mishima in the God awful Tekken film.

Japanese Frisbee is easily.. like.. the new craze.

Ray: Yeah, the new Liu Kang backstory that explains why he’s evil now was a bit eh. I get why they wanted to do it, because it’s a great plot twist to have the original earth realm hero fight on the side of the outworld.

And speaking of fighting, did you find there was a lack of action? Isn’t the source material based on fighting?

Maybe the creators were caught off-guard as to where to take this Season in terms of new character introductions and backstories. From Rebirth to S1 then S2, it seems they were making up a lot of stuff on the fy. Still, the new season is a very enjoyable and fresh experience. I don’t much care for the Netflix factor where we got all 10 episodes at once. I would’ve preferred a weekly release. For one, it’d give the audience more time to go back catch up with S1 on their way to S2.

What does work with the new Season, though, are some of the classic moves and fatalities that got depicted, like Sub-Zero throwing an ice ball, nailing his classic slide, and ninja pal Scorpion’s teleporting. Hands down, I think the Scorpion/Sub-Zero storyline and fight sequence are the best part of the series as a whole. I’m not gonna give it away, but the writer’s did mess up who dishes out a classic fatality…

Joe: Such lack of action, this time around, and more and more and more backstories. Though, when we had the fight sequences, they were amazing. What a tease. I guess since it had been two years, the writers felt the fans needed a refreshing. Although we’re supposed to be “Facing Off,” Abbot, I’m finding it difficult not to agree with you on several points, especially the whole Netflix trend. I would have been a lot happier with weekly episodes, they would given me a chance to anticipate more on what’s to come. The Scorpion/Sub-Zero storyline was also definitely the best part of the series, from S1 and S2, with its spectacular combination of fight choreography and stunt work. In fact, I would have preferred the entire series to focus of the feud between the Shirai Ryu and Lin Kuei, since it was built up so much. Scorpion is by far the most developed character in the entire series, from his origin on to his own vengeful path.

Before the Matrix, bitch.

Next we have Johnny Cage, this time play by Casper Van Dien, replacing Matt Mullins. Nothing against Van Dien (Starship Troopers), but he will always be Johnny Rico to me in just about everything he does. Where Mullins’ (S1) performance was flat, Van Dien’s was just annoying. I know Mileena is pretty gruesome looking, being half-Tarkatan, but Cage would just run from her, screaming like a little bitch. Not sure if that’s what the director wanted, or if that was a choice for Van Dien. I know that Johnny Cage is supposed to obnoxious, arrogant, and not a favorite to most gamers, but neither actor had the same charm as Linden Ashby (MK film, 1995), hands fucking down. Ashby played his arrogant and obnoxious self all very tongue in cheek, which served as nice comic relief in the original film.

Oh, what was the deal with Mileena dropping all the F-Bombs? I mean, I know this supposed to be for a mature audience — and I just dropped one myself — as it should and I should, be but it just didn’t sound right. Okay, if this is how people from other dimensions talk, it’s all fuckin’ make-believe. That “F-Bomb” was not intended! It just doesn’t sound very Outworldy, for certain characters to talk like the way we do. If that makes any fucking sense.

Ray: Hahaha! The inclusion of some very adult language certainly threw me off. Mind you, we have people getting busted up left and right, and for whatever strange reason, the profanity seemed inappropriate. Both choices for Johnny Cage were definitely abysmal, where Ashby did the damn thing in the movie. Johnny Cage was a role, as many of you may know, intended by the MK creators to be played by none other than “the muscles from Brussles” Jean Claude Van Dam. And, yes, I’m not sure if it was the writing or what, but the J.C. of this season is indeed very bitch made.

One of the problems with the series is that they’re trying to encompass too many characters of the franchise from jumpstreet; given the fact that they have an uber limited budget — and not to mention episode time — it’s not working as well as it should. There’s no reason for Kenshi or Stryker. I actually had to wiki Kenshi to find out who he was. All in all, the Abbot of Call of Duty did enjoy this Season 2, but I’m just sad I already watched it all (despite the fact Moody made me). I’m wondering if we’ll get a season 2.5 relatively soon, or if we’ll have to wait a very Tsung-like life length for Season 3. Either way, this is a definite must watch for anyone who is a fan of the franchise.

Beats being in G.I. Joe.

Joe: Seriously, I could have done without Kenshi and Stryker, either, since they’re not core characters, whereas Johnny Cage actually is! I’ve played a ton of MK, and I think I only played as Kenshi maybe once. Stryker, never! I’m almost wondering if Season 3 is going to mostly build characters such as Rain, Smoke, Reptile… you know, the rest of the colors of the rainbow. Though, Noob Saibot is essential; he’s who the first Sub-Zero becomes, so that would be a nice edition to story. I wouldn’t mind a season 2.5. I feel like they spend too much time on character stories and not enough on actual plot. Maybe the episodes would have worked if they were extended to 25-30 min. It worked for Video Games High School! Hell, get FreddieW to direct Season 3!

Even so, you can tell that Tancharoen is growing with this series. You can tell he wants it to be better, despite how plodding it’s become. We didn’t get to the tournament until the end for fuck’s sake. The tournament itself is what Mortal Kombat is all about. The new shit is definitely a step up from S1 despite its flaws, but why expect anything different from a video game adaptation? Despite the fact I label Season 2 a definitive watch for MK diehards —  with more eyes on S3 due to the tournament — the Rev still gives it 3 (out of 5) Bibles.

Ray: The whole lack of a tournament is weird, as I was really hoping to see more of that aspect. They need to take some cues from Bloodsport to get this tournament movie down right. I don’t think more characters are needed, just better development of the current roster. If it ever reaches a Season 4 or 5 with a bigger budget, perhaps we’ll get longer episodes. Then again, I’ll take a well done 10-minute ep over a half-hour fluff job. I’m with you, Rev, a solid 3 Bibles. Peace out!

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Now, before I get on with this review, the Reverend would like to quickly touch upon Saints Row‘s previous three games. Those of you who know me, know that I can’t get enough of the open world franchise’s manic mayhem. But, to be completely honest with you (as if our holy church of geekdom would go about it any other way), the Rev didn’t get into SR until the summer of 2011, when trailers for SR: The Third flooded all video game sites and every bit of social media. I originally steered clear of the apparent Grand Theft Auto knock-offs — with their then sole focus on urban gang wars — and that proved a mistake.

A mistake I intended no longer to make.

Don’t get me wrong; I still and will always enjoy playing SR 1 and 2. However, when the third Row was released, I couldn’t help but nerdgasm to the fact that this shit was about to get full-retard.

And by full-retard, I’m talking what the Volition development team accomplished within their open sandbox:

-Call in airstrikes on rival gangs.

-Base-jump in the nude.

-Smack people with giant purple dildos.

Thus, it will forever remain one of my favorite games of all time.

So, when Volition said that Saints Row IV was going to have to take even further over-the-top than its predecessor, I was thinking to myself just how in the bloody hell would this become possible (English accent and all, I swear.) Sure enough, they went and proved me wrong.

Not one of my character creations, I can assure you.

Narrated by Jane Austen (yes, Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen), the story starts off where you, as the Boss (voiced by the one and only Troy Baker), lead the Saints to stop a terrorist group in the Middle East from launching a nuke on Washington D.C. (at this point, you kinda just have to go with it). As the nuke gets launched, you quickly jump on like Major Kong; and as you disable it, the game goes all Michael Bay with Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” busting through the background. And, you’re probably singing this in your head right now, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?

Yes, you. Over there…

Stop lying.

Fast forward about five years and you are now the Mother#$%^&*@ President of the United States, along with the rest of the Saints as your cabinet (including the option of an online pal, in case you want to co-op). Suddenly, out of nowhere (well, somewhere, just not sure where), aliens known as the Zin invade the White House — now known as the “White Crib,” complete with stripper poles — abducting you and your entire team. No anal probing, surprisingly. You fortunately-unfortunate peeps are then placed in a virtual reality Steelport. Thus, it’s up to you, your hacker colleague Kinzie, and Vice President Keith David (masterfully playing himself) to free your team, create absolute chaos with your new superpowers, and show Emperor Zinyak that he just fucked with the wrong “puckish rogue.”

Since most of the SR4 takes place in a virtual world like The Matrix, you get to break all the laws of reality. Instead of “with great power, comes great responsibility,” it’s more like “with great power, I can do whatever the ‘F’ I want because I’m insanely awesome (tossin’ up them middle fingers like 2Pac)!”

Steelport is the new Compton. Or Pittsburgh. Yeah, Pittsburgh.

Throughout the game — which has no problem alien comboing SR3 with Crackdown — you’ll accumulate various superpowers such as super jump, super speed, telekinesis, and fire balls, which are upgradeable as you progress to become the ultimate badass. There are no bounds in the virtual Steelport. Find yourself outgunned by army of aliens? Not much of an issue when you can just take ‘em out with your super stomp, all the while listening to Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do It.” Or better yet, start causing city mayhem with an alien tank or the mech suit, while listening to EMF’s “Unbelievable.” Oh, it’s like a sci-fi’d out VH1 “I Love the 90s!” Of course, there are a shitload of new weapons to choose from such as the Black Hole Gun (which.. you guessed it!) and the Inflato Ray (which inflates your enemies to the point where their bodies explode). Fun times! However, I found myself using the Dubstep Gun more often than any. It’s a gun that blasts flashing neon lights and dubstep music at your enemies.

See kids, Volition proved that listening to too much of that horrendous music will kill you.

Being ridiculously superpowered and using insane alien weapons are not all what makes SR4 so enjoyable. The game’s many parodies are just as great, including sci-fi fanboy homages to their pistol upgrades (Blade Runner, “Firefly”). In addition to all of the Hollywood nods and soundtrack bliss, there’s plenty of odes to great games too, such as inFamous and Prototype (the super powered gameplay element), and the Monsignor’s all-time fav, Mass Effect (by the way you interact with your team on the spaceship, not to mention romance them).

Boss: “Hey Kinzie, wanna fuck?” Kinzie punches you in the face, and then jumps on you.

Kinzie: “Let’s do this!”

(Must be all that pent-up frustration Kinzie and the Boss have from arguing like a married couple.. the entire damn game.)

Some of the tougher enemies include Lookie Lou.

But, nothing bats the homage to a film I actually had the privelage of screening and Q&A-covering earlier this year (which you can read right here), John Carpenter’s They Live. Oh, the irony! The game actually turnbuckle tosses in legendary WWF wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (and his actual voice) to re-enact his infamous fight scene with Keith David. WTF!?!? I mean.. David guest stars, and aliens are the bad guys. Why the hell not?

Oh, and, if you didn’t bother doing too much crazy character editing, or browsing online for hours at some of the many insane creations (a major plus for this 4th installment) Roddy Piper can then be used as a fellow Homeboy.

Hell, that’s not even the half of the humor that Saints Row IV has to offer. There’s a part where players will earn their Transformers moment by listening to “The Touch” from Stan Bush, all the while suiting up as the Iron Saint. Better yet, you start singing along to Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract,” and try to get Kinzie to sing along with you, but she just tells you to…do something terrible to yourself. There’s a sense of nostalgia from this soundtrack that is comparable to none other.

Don’t worry, baby; it was just a phase. He barely mentioned me in this review, anyway…

Sure, while the fanboy in me has taken over much of this review (don’t worry; it’s not even close to the highest rated on the net), I’m not going to lie about the graphics. They’re merely passable. But, maybe that’s why this fun-ass game was tucked away in the darkest cornest at E3, or perhaps I’m only noticing these defencies now because of the looming next-gen.

But, dudes and dudettes of the congregation, you’re not picking up a Saints Row game for the graphics, now, are ya? Of course not. None of the prettier games on the market could ever match up with the franchise’s out-of-this-world/out-of-your-mind zaniness. So, one bible falls off the alter. No biggie. Either way, Saints Row IV exceeds some very lofty expectations following the sheer insanity of Saints Row: The Third. Hell, due to this fourth entry, I’ve been intensely sleep-deprived, living off little more than energy drinks (if only they sold Saints Flow in stores) with a mind so warped, I keep having dreams that I’m buck-naked, blasting aliens asshats while shitty EDM was playing in the background.

How’s that for an impression? Through four mighty games, Volition has chucked over street gangs, zombies, and aliens… Whatever’s next, you can bet the Rev will be amped and ready to go #fullretard once again.

And to think I only mentioned Troy Baker once. Okay. Now twice.

Dammit, Troy.

Okay, now thr…

4.5 (out of 5) Bibles. Half-ass graphics aside, this is one of the Year’s Top 3 Games!

Deep Silver’s Saints Row IV is currently in stores, wherever good PC, PlayStation3, and Xbox 360 games are sold.

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No one impressed my panel-attending pleasure more than Ubisoft, who laid out the grid with a trio of fresh-to-deaths: Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, a sneak peek demo of Watch_Dogs, and the newly acquired/much delayed South Park: The Stick of Truth — definitely not one of those forgettable mini’s that you find on Xbox Live.

This RPGer, entirely produced by “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, is bigger, longer and even more uncut than you think.

But, let’s start with Watch_Dogs. The Rev was treated to some exclusive gameplay footage that only lucky Conheads — supposedly! — will get to see for a few months. I’m not going to spoil it for you, though, because we were all sworn to secrecy (in what looks to be a trend at #SDCC this year, “no notes or cell phones allowed during this recording”). Intriguingly so, when you kill someone in WD, your protagonist’s face gets blown up all over the news, and it’s your job to make a break before people start fingering you (heyo!). Watch_Dogs is nonetheless intense!

Now, before I get into the Assassin’s Creed panel (which I got into, using someone else’s p… oh wait!), I’d like to relay a bit of a note that AC and Dogs are NOT in the same universe. Sure, both games come strikingly familiar in terms of high-tech memory functions and sleek character models; but unfortunately, there is no connection. That was actually one of the first questions asked at the AC panel, and I could tell that the guys at Ubi get asked that a lot.

Yeah. I was bummed, too.

The good news is that the 6th entry into the AC franchise looks to be Ubisoft’s most entertaining and intuitive. Taking the stage for the Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag panel was creative screenwriter Darby McDevitt, voice actor Matt Ryan (thankfully not the Falcons Pro Bowl QB who just signed for $100 mill, or Moody would have had my ass), AC comic writer Brenden Fletcher, and the one and only Todd McFarlane (a man who needs no introduction). If you need an introduction for Todd, then what are you even doing reading this article!

Of course, McFarlane was there to introduce attendees to yet another action figure line, this time for Assassin’s Creed. In addition to the special edition art that the Spawn creator supplied, these toys will come with unlockable codes. I guess it’s “shut up and take my money” time, as if I hadn’t already spent so much moolah at the Con as it is! The new gameplay footage…

…was narrated by Ryan in the panel, who delved more into our new protagonist Edward Kenway. And Mr. Kenway could very well be the most interesting assassin of the bunch. A pirate. A rogue. A complete fucking badass. Johnny Depp couldn’t have said it better, “Pirates were the rock stars of their time.”

Unfortunately, “Matty Ice” didn’t binge on any rum in order to get into character. Ryan did describe — as fans were able to witness the latest assassin slice through soldiers with dual blades on the big screen — Kenway as “fierce, brash, charismatic, says whatever the hell he wants, and has a way with the ladies.” Looks like this assassin-trained pirate is a hero who pretty much flips the bird to Brotherhood!

Team Edward, all the way…

I know, I know. Typical pop culture freak saving the best for last. But I’m willing to bet not too many panels entertained more than that of South Park: The Stick of Truth! It’s every “South Park”-watching knumbnut’s dream to have a game created in its entirety by the show’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Since the self-titled South Park game — for Nintendo 64 and PlayStation nonetheless — sucked, these fools weren’t about to let anyone destroy their baby again. And, since the geniuses behind “The Book of Mormon” are hardcore role-playing gamers themselves, it was a no brainer to make their very own Skyrim. You know, the type of RPG that would have legal and consensual sex with… Earthbound, Paper Mario and Zelda (who, you know, I wouldn’t mind having legal and consens… Shit!).

…and not a “Troy Baker” in sight.

Even more fun than the possibilities of controlling your own analog farts, was watching these two guys play off the panel like The Stick was going to suck! “Yeah, let’s make a video game, because…that’s easy,” cued Trey Parker, who you couldn’t blame — after 10-years of Stick‘s gaming development – for being just a bit facetious. After labeling South Park: The Stick of Truth “authentic crappiness” to screw with roommates/friends/grandmoms who couldn’t tell the difference between the game and the show, the creators went into a fighting frenzy with fans. “In fact, no questions about the game at all. Or ‘South Park’. Or ‘Book of Mormon’. Hey, anyone seen Battleship? What a bunch of nonsense…”

Matt Stone, continued the triviality. “Who wants to talk about BASEketball?”

After relaying bits and pieces of actual Stick info like: A.) A create-your-own protaganist who remains silent through the game, B.) Wildly popular songs from the show will be in the game, and C.) The game offers a first ever map of South Park, it was back to messing with the fans. You know, for evergreen questions like, “Is [Towelly? Chef Vader?] going to be in TSOT?”

At least SOMEONE was there.

“DLC!” was the answer, of course. Or, better yet, “Hey, [we] didn’t think of that… I guess we’re gonna have to push the game back eight months!” But, hands down, my favorite question of the day was when a female fan asked, “Will you be able to play the character as a girl?” Trey Parker: “When you beat the Abortion Clinic level, yes. You will be able to play as a girl.” It honestly didn’t matter if they were talking about the game, or just fucking off the entire hour. Just sitting in the room next to these two rock stars appeared to be enough entertainment for everyone in 6BCF.

Oh yeah, why isn’t there any Mint-Berry Crunch cereal? Trey: “Yeah, because that’s fuckin’ easy. Umm…DLC! And, yes, Chef makes an appearance!”

You can catch an all-new season of “South Park” starting Wednesday, September 25th (with Bill Hader as lead writer). Ubisoft’s South Park: The Stick of Truth is (finally) set for release November 19. #fullretard

• If you followed the path behind the Convention Center, you would have found the reason behind all the random Assassin’s Creed graffiti throughout the area: a giant, life-sized, fully functional Pirate Ship. The line was incredibly long by the time our “Minister” Gabe Carrasco got to it, and he didn’t feel like waiting. Hey, guess not everyone is as excited for Black Flag as you and I. Also, anyone else hear about the “real life” Assassin parkouring through Con?

• Without a doubt, the absolute best way to close out Comic-Con each and every year is in the Xbox Lounge. Sure, they changed locations (from the Hard Rock to the Hyatt), they now only allow those with CC badges (if you’re good at playing the badge-switch game like we did, you shouldn’t have a problem sneaking someone in), and the place is def far more glitz and glamour than years past (Halo action figures in a glass case, huge demo screens, less seating). I was, however, able to play a quick demo of Ryse for the Xbox One. Granted, a very short demo, but I can tell you the Rev got a bit of a rush from hacking up other soldiers (QTE or not), commanding my troops into the phalanx formation, and launching a shitload of javelins. Shouting commands to your men via Kinect wasn’t available, unfortunately.

• According to some panel notes from Monsignor Moody (who was too lazy to do a write-up, I guess. Thanks, T!) for Ryse: Son of Rome, Crytek’s idea for the Xbox One title began as a medieval Kinect-only game until the next-gen system was announced. The story then switched over to that of a Roman Legionnaire on a vengeful Batman-like crusade, with a twist; meaning the “game within a movie within a game” is none too dissimilar to that of Assassin’s Creed, all the while the gameplay feels like your playing Frank Miller/Zach Snyder’s 300! The new tech of Xbox One also allowed for a higher fidelity and 3-d characters, marrying a unique art deco style with classic Rome. While the game will, of course, take many “artistic licenses” to tell its story, Ryse will also be contain as much accurate historical data as possible. Crytek also used performance capture actors from a studio ran by Andy Serkis (Lord of the Rings, Rise of the Planet of the Apes), which has many strong talents from both “Viking” and “Game of Thrones.” Wowzuh!

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To this Reverend, something has to be said for one who brings millions into their own world — without the sight of their face.

You could call these artists the voices of the voiceless; the voices of the faceless; the voices of big budget enterprises.

Of course I’m talking about the vocal talents of video games. Today (and perhaps every other day), I’m talking about Troy Baker.

Rumor has it that Joe was given this autographed poster at the Con, and it now resides on his bedroom ceiling.

If you’ve listened to our San Diego Comic Con Preview Night podcast, then you’ve heard the other GHG members (hi Moody and Sir Lancelot!) poke fun for…basically not shutting up about Mr. Baker. Sure, call it a man-crush. Whatever moniker you want to shake at me, there’s no backing away. If you call yourself a gamer, then you’ve most likely played something starring the real deal. The man is not only versatile in the characters he voices, but also happens to have one of those unique voices where…

It’s impossible to describe. Baker just has one of those badass hero voices!

Though he’s the voice of leading — and hella award-winning — video game characters like Booker Dewitt (Bioshock Infinite), Joel (The Last of Us), The Leader of The Saints (Saints Row 3 & 4), Mr. Baker will finally have his hand at a major villain with the forthcoming Batman game, Arkham Origins. Yes, the former Batman/Robin/Nightwing will now play Joker.

Hail to the motherfluffing new Clown Prince of Crime!

How handsome? HAND-SOME (money over, bitch).

So, there was your resident Rev at SDCC, with the anticipation knocking on me like biochemical laughing gas. Troy Baker was guest appearing at two of today’s panels — Origins and Saints Row IV –and most people would have looked at my face like I was a 13-year old white girl getting ready for a Justin Beiber concert. Even if I’ve never even met Kevin Conroy or Mark Hamill, the respective voices of Batman and Joker the past twenty years, this Baker kid seemingly combined that excitement. I mean, dude’s really come out of nowhere the past couple years and, here I am, barely able to contain myself.

For those unfamiliar with the recent outings of Saints Row (and shame on you; yes, you, MOODY), just imagine if Grand Theft Auto and The Matrix had a drunken unprotected, drug-induced one night stand. It’s almost like handling John Carpenter’s They Live in an open world.

So, enter Volition’s creative director Steve Jaros, and of course the voice cast: JB Blanc (Zinyak, the alien overlord), Yuri Lowenthal (Matt Miller and Prof. Genki), Baker and Laura Bailey (Male and Female Boss Protagonist). As soon as Baker walks in, I stand up and shout, “You my boy, Troy!” Sure, I thoroughly embarrassed my dear friend/colleague/comic book enthusiast, Nicole. But…

Welcome to God Hates Geeks.

The rep from the Row’s publisher, Deep Silver, asked Troy: “You’re just all over the place. Is there any game you haven’t done?”

Troy Baker: “Umm…”

Me: (yelling from the crowd): “Mario.”

Troy: (looking right at me, underwear starting to drip): “Mario! Yes, you are right… (lowering the voice) as far as you know! This is Baker-Con!”

He said that — not me!

The Rev actually had the opportunity to ask a question to the SR4 panel, but of course the convention employee was whispering to everyone “Just one question, keep it brief, and absolutely…no requests!” Damn, I was really looking forward to asking Troy if he could do the line, “Do you have any idea who you’re f@%&ing with?!?!” You know, ever so equivocally. Well, thanks Major Buzzkill. Now what do I ask?

When it was my turn to come up to the mic, I said “Hey Troy, big fan since the Catherine game!”

Troy: “Oh, thank you!”

Then he quickly motions to Laura Bailey, sitting right beside him.

When asked if he would ever play a live action Joker, Baker just puffed on his cig. SO COOL!

Me: “Yes, Laura, I didn’t forget about you! (she was in that game, too) Loved you as Catherine, you were wonderful!” (I’m an asshole!) (cue audience laughter)

How the hell did I forget the actress, who voiced the title character was sitting right beside him?

Me: (back to Baker) Now, you voiced a wide variety of characters like Booker Dewitt, Vincent Brooks, The Joker…but, how does is it feel to now be the President, and not just the President, but the “Mother F@%&ing President?”

Troy: “Well, I’m still taking over the world!” (audience burst of laughter) “I was a fan Saints Row before and a Grand Theft Auto fan, as well…but what I loved what SR did was that they let you play the game, as opposed to the game playing you, if that makes any sense. So, the great thing about Saint Row: The Third was that nothing was out of bounds, and they got to really push the envelope. And one thing that I love about SR4 is that you get to play as Nolan North (Nathan Drake from Uncharted)…not just the voice, but actual Nolan North… What, no one’s excited for that? (cue delay applause)

I think we all would rather play as you, Mr. Baker. Though, I have checked out the trailer for the upcoming Infamous game, and the protagonist he voices does have a striking resemblance to him. Crazaaayyy!!!

Up on stage in the near massive CBF Hall for the Batman: Arkham Origins panel were WB Creative Director Eric Holmes and voice actors Roger Craig Smith (Assassin’s Creed) and (my not-so-secret hetero whatever) Troy Baker. As soon as the cast walked on stage, Monsignor Moody — who couldn’t resist a piece of the Baker-Con himself — kept telling me to settle down.

Ha! Well, if this 49ers Safety guy thinks he can even touch my Bat Cookies, then God bless ‘em!

Moody: Do I need to tie you down to your chair?

Yes. This is how you do panels. Even my boss would agree that the Arkham Origins panel was among the best at the Con. Baker and Smith were just screwing around, doing funny voices the entire time. I nearly pissed my pants when they both did Adam West impressions. Smith: “Wait, what was that? Shatner?” Not to mention Baker’s impression of Christopher Walken. My Godlovesgeeks, he just kept going! Gotta love it!

When is there going to be a goddamn Oscar for Best Voice Actor? And, seeing our heroes enjoy the shit out of what they do — and enjoy performing for the fans — is what makes the experience of going to the Con so enjoyable. Of course, both actors did address the issue of becoming the new voices of Batman and Joker. Smith and Baker intend to pay homage to these characters, and tweek the voices a little bit; but not deviate from what has always been known from the fans. Baker wants to make sure that players see the Joker, and not Troy Baker doing some impression of Luke Skywalker’s Joker. “I don’t want you see this goofy looking mug (his), over that handsome face (of The Joker).

Goofy mug!?!? There were plenty of ladies in the audience — and me (wah-ha!) — who were so not thinking that! Gotta admit, his grinning Joker laugh gave me chills! When he was asked “what’s next?” His response, “Hey, I’m available for anyone who wants to hire me.”

There went the crowd, and there goes the phone.

Mad Hatter confirmed for AO. Said to be voiced by a combination of North, Hamill and Conroy. Ooooooh!!!

So, is Troy Baker is up there with such talented voice actors as Nolan North, Kevin Conroy, and Mark Hamill? Absolutely. I admire the fact that he is a gamer himself, and that he really prefers voice acting in video games. Let’s face it, video games these days deliver the cha-ching. They are a new form of media, deserving of the same kind of recognition and respect as television and film. Lastly, I neglected to mention that Troy Baker is a talented singer and musician. If you haven’t heard the cover of “Will The Circle Be Unbroken” (with Baker also on guitar), along with fellow voice actress Courtnee Draper, it plays during the end credits of Bioshock Infinite. Sha-pow.

Well, I look forward to playing whatever future character Baker voices, even if that equates to buying a damn Wii-U. And, with that..  we. Suh. Lute. You.

Hail the to the Mother F@%&ing Chief!!!

• Saints Row IV will be available August 20th, with the first DLC, Enter the Dominatrix (a “behind-the-scenes” style mocumentary of all content cut from the game, originally slated for SR3), set to drop 45 days after release.

• Jaros blamed America’s favorite refreshment, beer, for the origin of the Dubstep Gun.

• Batgirl won’t be in Arkham Origins — released October 25th — but your Worst Nightmare will. Warner Bros. Montreal showed off an allotment of skins, in addition to the haunting figure so many of Bruce’s criminals imagine at night, with the likes of Adam West Batman and Knightfall.

• A female version of Copperhead was also introduced, which actually brought much delight to game consultant and DC writing god, Geoff Johns. Since the poisonous martial artist — who took 3 motion capture performers to nail — works from the shadows, it’ll be interesting to see how Batman “takes it from behind,” for once.

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John Carpenter, you are the f&%@ing man!

Last Friday, I had the honor and pleasure of attending the LA Times Hero Complex Film Festival, where I, not only participated in a tasty double-screening of They Live and (the original) Halloween; but, got to check out a Q&A with one of the funniest men in showbusiness, director John Carpenter.

After seeing him in person at Hollywood’s Chinese 6, there’s no doubt the man is a certifiable sci-fi filmmaking Rock Star.

It has been years since I have seen Carpenter‘s sci-fi classic starring — yes — WWE/F Hall of Famer, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. It may have even been after a night of Monday night wrestling, very much after, on the USA network. Of course, watching They Live as a punk adolescent is an entirely different experience than watching it now as a.. well.. punk adult. Either era, a good part of me couldn’t stop thinking how Mr. Carpenter really stuck it to “the man.”

And, by “the man,” I mean the 1980s. You know, generally-speaking.

So, I woke up.. only to find myself at the wrong damn event.

Here’s what good ol’ Carps had to say about the flick and its era:

“I graduated high school in the 1960s, we the Vietnam War… We had the drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll… Great time to be alive, and by the end of the 70s, there was a backlash against everything in the 60s, and that’s what the 80s were. Ronald Regan became president — Reaganomics came in — and he rekindled the Cold War, and started attacking union… So, a lot of the ideals that I grew up with were under assault; and something called a ‘yuppie’ came into existence and they just wanted money… By the late 80s, I had none and I decided I had to make a statement [with They Live], a stupid analogy [perhaps]… The 80s had never died; it’s still with us…”

Carpenter added to the analogies, “aliens should be evil. They’re here to kick our asses!”

Much like the flick our own Rev. Moody caught the next day at the same festival, this director had a similar outlook to The Mist‘s Frank Darabont: “A dark ending is fun — audiences hate them!” And, for these daring directors, making audiences mad is all par for course, of course.

You mean Hogan’s NOT on the cast?

Carpenter was asked about the famous fight scene between Piper and Keith David, which still holds up today as one the greatest movie fight scenes of all time. He mentioned that the legendary wrestler and Raw Justice actor (ha ha) rehearsed that scene for a month and a half, using pads, so when it was time to shoot they could make real contact — as if they were really hitting each other. Our host and moderator for the night, the LA Times‘ Gina McIntyre, even asked John if there was ever “any conversation on the lines of ‘maybe you don’t need the fight to go on that long?’”

JC’s response: “No.”

Cue tremendous audience laughter and applause.

As the Q&A went on, Carpenter was asked about his favorite memory with Kurt Russell, the actor who he has worked with the most. “We were in British Columbia shooting The Thing (which Moody also saw last week, goshdarnit), and the actors were out on a Saturday night [getting] drunk. I had a visitor in my room, and Kurt knew about it. So, he decided to organize the actors to bring poor Keith David, who was passed out, up to my door and drop him. They just had the greatest laugh.”

Carpenter rolled on saying, “The next day, we were shooting and (Keith David) was so hungover. I just stared at him. And I was so happy. That was my favorite moment — everyone [having] a good time!”

I was curious about what was Carpenter’s experience working with Donald Pleasence, who played the Pres in Escape from New York and, of course, Dr. Loomis in Halloween. Pleasence told John during Escape’s initial shooting, “I don’t know why I’m here, and I don’t understand this movie.” With that, Donald aimed to get Carpenter to write an essay as to why the director wanted him to play the president.

FedEx? You’re finally here?

“He just wanted to feel special,” barked Carp.

Carpenter mentioned that he never did that for another actor, while going on to reference his most fond memory of Pleasence on set: when Michael Myers falls out the window, and Loomis goes to the railing and looks down only to see no one there, “[Pleasence] tells me, I could play it ‘oh my god’ or ‘I knew it would happen’.

We shot both, but which one do you think we used?”

Then, leave it to a Rock Star to be more curious about the Golden State Warriors/San Antonio Spurs NBA playoff game than the matter at hand: “Can any of you check and see on your phones who won? Oh, what were we talking about?”

Genius.

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