TERMINATOR SALVATION: THE FINAL BATTLE #1 [Review]: Franchise won’t be saved, just yet.

I saw a man, not a machine.

Another reboot. Yeah!!!!!

Taking that quote from the much maligned Terminator: Salvation, this comic sequel to the film doesn’t feature enough of why most love the franchise in the first place: killer robots. Now, while I get that a story should initially have some form of exposition, back story, and character development, the longtime diehard Terminator fan in yours truly just wanted to see some shit blow up.

Instead, Blair Williams stood correct.

Terminator Salvation: The Finale Battle #1 comes off the heels of the newly announced and tentatively titled Terminator 5 (set to be directed by Thor: The Dark World‘s Alan Taylor and featuring the return of “The Governator”), especially with yesterday’s latest casting rumors surrounding the next Sarah Connor (will it be dragon queen Emilia Clarke, or indie darling Brie Larson?).

One of my all-time favorite comic scribes, J. Michael Strazynski (Superman: Earth One, “Babylon 5″), takes the Terminator reigns in long comic form. It was indeed his Amazing Spider-Man that launched a horde of noobs into current comics, while his 3-year run on Thor is arguably the finest this side of Walt Simonson. Pushing this available legend towards Skynet proved some nice timing on Dark Horse’s behalf, to say the bit least.

Unfortunately, my excitement for this comic dwindled as it took forever for anything exciting or heart-clenching to happen. In fact, it never did; instead, breathing in a sense of “been there, done that.” Sure, The Final Battle begins the way it started, with the arrival of a trio of Terminators who pull off the same stunt Big Arnold did nearly 30-years ago: kill them, before they end up getting us all killed. I get the nod. Cool. The comic even goes on to feature similar long-winded Christian Bale speeches from Salvation, complete with words like “there,” “heard,” and “knows” highlighted in bold so readers could feel the same growl as the same actor who completely went ape shit trying to play John Connor in the first place.

This tactic, which kept up throughout the comic, did no more than throw me off my reading.

Why stand on ceremony, Connor?

Then there are scenes featuring Dr. Serena Kogan, which is basically the Marcus Wright section of the story. Seeing how she was the one to make him a cyborg, it doesn’t surprise me the least bit what happens here. Lots of talking to robots, tons of talking to herself. Even JMS can’t help but feel alert and terrified of writing Terminator comics (“I have to stop thinking about time jumps and ripple effects. It just gives me a headache.”). What does surprise me, however, is the fact these few pages in the lab make the radioactive pipe found in Helena Bonham Carter’s house seem more exciting. Hey, the comic Kogan’s manifestation has nothing on the “movie Kogan” — and Tim Burton gal — possibly turning real life Spider-Woman.

Worse off, the “Kyle Reese” character in TSTFB (told you, we’re treading familiarity here) is a new guy named Simon, who comes off little more than a two-faced sleaze puff. Simon’s the guy who’s onto the new brains behind this Skynet operation, but, of course, doesn’t want Connor to know. If it takes more than 6-issues for Connor to see through this guy…

Nearly as many choices as a next-gen launch. Meaning, hardly.

…it may just take you 6 yourself to figure out who he is, as well. Pete Woods (Deadpool, Superman: World of New Krypton) certainly has the chops and the style to fit the Terminator world, yet I found the appearance of his Resistance a little strange and confusing. This side of the moderately Balesque Connor, some of these folks resemble each other (like Simon and killer Thomas James Parnell; an under-the-process Terminator and…Parnell), while others are entirely unrecognizable.

Not that Woods needed — or was even allowed — to go the Nick Fury/Sam Jackson route with his character capturing (thankfully opting more for the Carlos D’Anda Star Wars route here instead); but finding a perfect medium between the mediums of movies and comics would have been nice. Otherwise, his art does a more than admirable job at capturing the murky moodiness of a fracked up future. If we see some more detail and at least some of those killer T-800s, Terminator Salvation could end up quite a nice looking book.

And just as I was ready to hit the snooze button, JMS pulls off bits and pieces of handy humor (i.e. a female Terminator bitching about her newly acquired “shoes”; a serial killer offering his dead victims the chance to “watch” some TV). That sadistic humor is partially why the Monsignor has always adored JMS comics, so I’ll at least be sticking around for issue #2. And since this mega-series is set for a full year, let’s hope Strazynski finds enough magic in those fingers to find the proper metaphor for the Skynet War and Mr. Connor.

Before 2029.

2 (out of 5) Bibles. The beginnings of “The Final Battle” is largely disappointing, but I’ll be sure to give the next issue a whirl.