Here at GHG, we shoot the shit on all things nerdy: comics, video games, sci-fi, horror, and lately, things not so nerdy, such as football (our dear boss happened to jock/nerd hybrid; does that even exist???). So, it’s only fair to touch on something that we never have before: indie games. “The Padre” Guy Copes and myself, the Rev, had the pleasure of attending the gamer event, despite being smothered with a very niche audience, or — th latest thing in town — game’sters.

“Rampage” with Elephants…is what the man in line on Molly said to me.

I’m talking IndieCade 2013!

“The Reverend” Joe Rivera: I’m just going to jump right to what I enjoyed the most, and that’s the Padre and I jumping into the front of the line at the Oculus Rift VR booth. Yeah, because that’s how we roll at GHG, bitches! No actually, Guy and I just happened to waltz right in the booth and no one noticed. Energy drinks with candy are a helluva drug! So, at the Oculus booth we both took turns playing the VR game, Dumpy: Going Elephants. The game plays a lot like Katamari (nor tastes like Calamari, Travis), though instead of rolling a ball around a town collecting things to make it bigger, you are in the first person view of an elephant whacking everything in sight with your trunk. No controllers, just swing your head side to side or bob up and down. Of course, when you bob up and down it just looks so wrong (yikes!). I swear to you.. I was not watching porn!

Guy “Padre” Copes: Yeah, this was probably one of the most redonkulous experiences we had at IndieCade 2013. This game was like dropping acid while swimming through the mind of Walt Disney. I mean seriously, batting aside brightly colored buildings and other odd objects with your massive elephant trunk! Heh, hey ladies!

Armillo was a fun little platformer from the crew at Fuzzy Wuzzy Games. Available on the Wii-U (for the four or five hundred people out there that own one), where you play Armillo, our heroic armadillo tasked with saving innocents from alien captors across vast parallel worlds. So just like Saints Row IV, minus the nudity, killing, and general #fullretard shenanigans. So, yeah — just like it! Seriously, Armillo was a fun game to play. Easy to pick up, good for the whole family. It has a throwback quality that anyone with a Wii-U should definitely add to their collection.

Divekick, Divekick, Divekick! My game of the show, as I tweeted and Facebook bombed endlessly, causing the Monsignor to temporarily block me from his news feed. Back in his good graces, your overexcited Padre will say it again…Divekick kicks major bootay! I mean when you look up the definition of fun, right below the picture of a naked Troy Baker is a picture of a crowd gathered around a tv, chanting, cheering, and talking shit while two other gamers play through their round of an impromptu Divekick tournament. Available on the PSN and Steam. Two buttons, one move. Too much fucking fun.

2 warriors, 2 buttons, 1…flavored chicken.

Jose: Oh yes, Divekick! When the Padre and I picked the PS controllers ready to PWN some artsy gamers, we got our asses handed to ourselves, at first. No one told us that you only use L1 and R1! Once we got the hang of it, we became Pwn doctors dealing prescriptions.

Contrast definitely looked like an interesting game. So, I did get the name wrong at first. We both thought the game was called Compulsion, I mean that’s what is said at the top of the posters, where as Contrast was at the bottom. I would like to thank the pretentious dude with sporting Victorian-era mustache for getting in my face and correcting me ever so loudly. “Excuse me, Compulsion is the developer, Contrast is the game, get it right! Hmph!” My apologies for offending the Duke of Douchebaggery. Next time don’t have the developers name at the top of the poster, in big letters. Otherwise, have say Compulsion Games. Sheesh! I would have said to the Padre, “Hold me back!” but I’m sure he would have just let me take the malnourished gamer down.

Someday, you will find a pair of stilts.

Back to the game. Set in a very dark noir-ish style 1920s atmosphere, you play as a little girl who can shift between the 3D environment and the 2D shadow world, as a silhouette. Very much one of those games that you play for its dark and eerie feel and artistic environment. We only got a small taste of this game, but fact that it had a BioShock Infinite feel (the environment, no the gameplay) really made me want to jump back in when it launches on PSN and XBLA later this year. To wrap things up on my end, IndieCade 2013 was a small event — sorry it wasn’t #NYCC2013, Neo-fight — but it was definitely cool to experience something we never have before. It’s pretty sweet that indie games are getting more recognition these days. We love 2D platformers and we love games that look pixelated. I don’t know about you, Guy, but I’ll definitely come back next year, and I would hope the rest of the congregation would join us, as well. Of course, if Mr. Snooty Victorian-stache happens to be there, oh so help me…..POW!

Guy: Oh I’ll be back. But I will remember to bring my anti-Douche shield to repel crazed gamers spouting nonsense (remember the Obama-is-Hitler geek that started ranting at us for no reason?). All in all, a cool little gaming event that is definitely worth revisiting next year.